


Fatherhood

by FlamingKookie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Children, Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romance, Single Parents, Smut, dreamdaddyau
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 00:56:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14093475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamingKookie/pseuds/FlamingKookie
Summary: Kyungsoo is a recently divorced father with joint custody of his seven year old son. Jongin is a widower with a four year old daughter. They meet at the neighborhood barbeque. What will flower from their meeting and what will they learn about each other?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MitchMatchedSocks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MitchMatchedSocks/gifts).



Do Kyungsoo lay in bed as his alarm clock blared loudly into his ear, alerting him of the new day that was about to begin. He was just thankful is was the day before the weekend. After allowing a single use of the snooze button, he sat up and let out a sigh as he rubbed the sand from his eyes. He kicked his legs out from beneath the bedsheets and stood up, his ankles cracking softly as he stretched. With his eyelids still heavy, Kyungsoo proceeded to the bathroom and turned on the shower as he slipped out of his pajama bottoms and boxers. He scratched his exposed stomach gently was he waited for the water to heat up and then stepped inside. It was a quick shower, no more than ten minutes, and he dried himself off with a towel before he thoroughly brushed his teeth, flossed, and rinsed with mouthwash. With his hair still damp, Kyungsoo styled it the way he liked it and put a bit of hairspray in it to maintain its shape. Kyungsoo looked himself in the mirror and, with a heavy exhale, walked over to his dresser and pulled out a black t-shirt and pair of black slacks to slip into. Once dressed, he quickly fixed his hair, put on his black rimmed glasses, opened his bedroom door, and walked over to his son’s room. A few sharp knocks on the bedroom door were followed by the faint sound of bedsheets rustling.

“Time to get up, Jungsoo,” Kyungsoo said and waited outside the door for a reaction. He heard a head fall back onto its pillow, followed by silence, and he opened the door to see his son’s head of tousled black hair stuck up around its pillow. “Come on,” he said, a little sharper this time. Jungsoo sat up, his eyes still closed, and let out a loud sigh of protest. “You can sleep in tomorrow.” Kyungsoo left the door wide open and proceeded downstairs.

By the time Jungsoo was showered and downstairs, Kyungsoo was finishing up breakfast. The smell of soy bean paste stew, kimchi, and fried potato pancakes wafted in the air as Kyungsoo put the bowls of bubbling broth on the table. Kyungsoo took a long swig of his coffee before he brought the rest of the food over and sat down with Jungsoo. Jungsoo had already put on his school uniform and his large eyes were accentuated by his large thick rimmed glasses. They shared the same terrible eyesight and Kyungsoo knew Jungsoo hated the glasses. He’d already asked about getting contacts but Kyungsoo heard it was best to wait until the child was at least thirteen years old. Jungsoo was just shy of ten but he didn’t want to risk anything. So instead, Jungsoo had to resort to the glasses that earned him the nickname Clark Kent. Few could bully like children but he knew Jungsoo would overcome it. They ate in relative silence, Kyungsoo drinking his coffee while Jungsoo sipped his tea. While Jungsoo was chewing on his potato pancake, his favorite food, Kyungsoo felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he pulled it out to look at it. The groan of frustration was quickly choked down as he viewed the message and typed in his response. She wanted him for the weekend and he knew he’d been pushing it with hoping for two weekends in a row. So he typed back that he’d been wanting to bring Jungsoo to the neighborhood barbeque that was going to happen on Saturday. He put the phone down, hoping it would a quick and easy request but once he found himself finishing his stew a few minutes later, his phone began to vibrate as she was calling him. He sighed and excused himself from the table, with Jungsoo ignorant to the whole ordeal while helping himself to a second pancake.

“What do you mean you don’t care?” Kyungsoo hissed under his breath as he stood on the porch to the backyard with his phone to his ear and the backdoor closed behind him to cut off the sound of the conversation to the inside.

“I’m saying I don’t care what you had planned, I want him for this weekend. I didn’t get him last weekend.”

“You didn’t want him last weekend,” Kyungsoo spat back and felt his grip on his phone whitening his knuckles.

“I want him this weekend,” she repeated, her tone becoming more akin to that of the spoiled brat she had always been. Kyungsoo rubbed his eyes with frustration and exhaled before he forced himself to calm down.

“I would really appreciate it, Jane, if I could have this weekend with him. You can have him for the next two weekends if you want.” There was silence on the other side of the phone. “I don’t get to do much with him outside of the house. This would really mean a lot to me.” Another brief expanse of silence.

“Fine,” she said curtly. “But I get him the twelfth through the twenty first.”

“Nine days!” Kyungsoo whispered angrily into the phone in quiet shock at the demand. He only got Thursdays and Fridays with Jungsoo during the week with weekends on a constant scheduling discussion and now she wanted a full week plus an additional weekend, in a row, with him. He wanted to kick something but all that was in kicking distance was the railing of his porch and one of the lawn chairs. Nothing was kicked.

“Take it or leave it, Soo.”

“Fine,” Kyungsoo finally relented and hung up the phone before she could spit something else at him. “Bitch,” he whispered as he put his phone back into his pocket and slid the backdoor open. How he’d been with her for as long as he had, he didn’t know. Once back in the kitchen, he eliminated the frustration from his face and quietly piled up the dirty dishes before bringing them to the sink. He’d get to them later. “Ready to go?” he asked. Jungsoo nodded as he finished his tea and grabbed his backpack. “Not forgetting anything?”

“No, dad,” Jungsoo said with a little sigh. Kyungsoo smiled. He pulled his son against him by the shoulder and ruffled his black locks. Jungsoo pushed his glasses back up on his nose as they walked out the door to the car for the ride to school.


	2. Chapter 2

Kyungsoo watched as his son’s small frame heaved its massive backpack into the school. He was thankful that none of the fellow students seemed to pick on him but he was also saddened to see not a single kid approach him in the slightest. It was a sight he could sympathize all too well with as he remembered his own school days. It was only when Jungsoo was completely out of sight that he threw his car into drive and pulled out of the school parking lot. As he was driving home his phone began to vibrate and he spared a quick glance only to see that it was Jane. He felt his knuckles whiten as he gripped the steering wheel and pulled over to answer.

“Yeah?” Kyungsoo asked, formal greetings having long since departed their conversations.

“I want him tonight too.” His chest began to tighten as a rage built inside him and it took all that he had to not punch the steering wheel.

“Could you make it any more obvious you don’t want me in his life?”

“As long as you keep noticing it, I’ll keep doing it,” she said back with the eerie chilliness that he’d become far too acquainted with since the divorce. It still stung, though, to hear her openly state such things. While the fury was building in his chest, Kyungsoo took a deep breath and tried to calm his breathing.

“Jane…please…He means the world to me. You know that.”

“That’s nice. I want him tonight.”

“I had something planned.”

“Then cancel it.”

“I told him we were going to see a movie.”

“Well, you can see it another time.”

“It’s his favorite movie.” He hated it when they played this game.

“Soo, I don’t fucking care. He’s my son and he’s coming with me to visit his grandmother.”

“He’s my fucking son, too.” Neither of them had anything to follow that up with since it was simply a fact.

“It’s just a night,” Jane finally said through the phone, “Do what you usually do and I’m sure he’ll be there to wake you up in no time. I’m getting him at five.” Before he could respond she hung up on him. Whether it was from the anger or the absolute desperation, Kyungsoo’s eyes began to water. He shook for a few moments before he threw his phone into the floor of the passenger’s seat and began to furiously pounding the steering wheel with all he had. He wailed as hot tears ran down his cheeks and his voice cracked as he knew drivers could see him on the side of the road. It was almost a full minute when Kyungsoo ceased and let his forehead rest on the steering wheel. A few more tears managed to slide down his cheeks and drip off his chin before he sat up and wiped his face dry with the back of his sleeve. Once his eyes were dry, the persistent blur of his vision told him that he had lost his glasses in his fit and he found them on the floor by his feet. After finding a spare napkin in the armrest to blow his nose, Kyungsoo put the car back into drive and proceeded to drive home.

When Jane and her new boyfriend Derek came to pick up Jungsoo, it took all Kyungsoo had to let his son out of the vice grip of a hug he’d trapped him in. Saying goodbye never got any easier. Jungsoo didn’t want to go. Of course it fell onto Kyungsoo to tell Jungsoo that they wouldn’t be able to go to the movies and that his mom wanted to spend that evening with him. Jungsoo’s eyes were still a bit red from the crying but he’d mostly calmed down. If there was one thing that he held pride in, it was that regardless of what people thought of him as a person there was no denying that Jungsoo was his son. Even if that massive glasses he wore were taken off, there was no mistaking the similarity in both facial structure and physical build. While Jane was French/Irish, there was little of her in Jungsoo outside of his eyes. An Asian kid with blue eyes was quite a rarity but he held pride in the fact that every time she would look at their son, she would have to remember him and she could never imply that he was someone else’s child. He gave a small kiss to Jungsoo’s cheek.

“Be a good boy, Jungsoo. I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon and then we have all weekend together.” Despite how much he hated the goodbyes, he loved the anxious look Jungsoo gave to the promise of being together again. He also loved how much she hated it. She ushered Jungsoo out of the house and Derek looked at him. Kyungsoo was quite built for a man of his shorter stature but Derek almost loomed over him at six feet and four inches in height. They’d shared probably less than ten words in the history of knowing each other but they expressed plenty to each other with their eyes. It wasn’t until Jungsoo was almost to the truck that Derek closed the door and left Kyungsoo alone in his home. A soft exhale and countdown from ten helped calm Kyungsoo down as he remained standing in front of the door. Finally, he opened his eyes and stood in the silence of his house for a few moments more before he went to the living room and sat on his couch. The day’s drama had drained him of any hopes of getting some work done so he pulled out his phone after giving the customary ten minute wait after Jungsoo left. He opened the name and pressed the call button. It was answered in only four rings.

“Hey, Soo,” came the softer male voice on the other side.

“Hey, Ray,” he answered as best he could, the emotions seeping out of his words despite doing all he could to refrain them. A few moments passed.

“You alright?” the voice asked.

“No.”

“Want me to come over?”

“Please.”

“Alright. I’ll be about a half hour. That alright?”

“Yeah…”

“I’ll be there soon.” They hung up before he let his phone slip from his hands and fall to the floor. A minute of silence passed before he stood up and walked to the kitchen to open the liquor cabinet. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and drained before he quickly began to refill it. He repeated this two more times before he finally paused and hissed as the burn of the liquor washed over him. The tension was riddled in his body and the exercises his therapist had taught him weren’t doing anything at this point. Another glass of whiskey was poured and he drank half of it before he walked back to the couch in the living room. As the anger, tension, and self-abusive comments he made of himself began to subside, he heard the familiar knock on his front door. Kyungsoo stood up, the whiskey having long since taken a hold of him, and he shuffled to the door where he opened it and saw a familiar face. He looked into the man’s deep blue eyes and let his hand reach out to touch the natural blonde hair as he began to stiffen in his pants.

“About time,” Kyungsoo said and the man stepped over the threshold and into Kyungsoo’s house before he closed the door behind him.

“You look like shit,” the man said.

“Fuck you, Ray,” Kyungsoo answered before he slid up against the taller man and hungrily went for the lips with his own. Ray snickered as he let his arms wrap around Kyungsoo’s torso and pull him tight against him. He needed this. He needed him. He knew it was toxic but he didn’t care. As his lips devoured Ray’s own, Ray gently took the whiskey glass from Kyungsoo’s hand and then gently pulled away, leaving Kyungsoo to try and get on his toes to reach the lips but Ray had pulled out of his reach. The blond haired devil smirked at him and took a sip of the whiskey as he looked at him.

“Was she being a bitch?”

“Less talking…more…” Kyungsoo’s voice didn’t seem to want to work as his body grinded up against Ray’s. Ray raised his other hand where he showed a bottle.

“I brought wine,” Ray said but Kyungsoo instead took it and put it on the floor.

“Later,” Kyungsoo said as he got to his knees and began to fumble with Ray’s belt. Ray just smiled and let a hand run through Kyungsoo’s hair before he gasped once Kyungsoo took him in his mouth.

They eventually managed to get from the doorway to the guest bedroom since Kyungsoo refused to sleep with anyone in his own bed since Jungsoo still would sneak in and sleep with him sometimes from the bad dreams. He knew it was semantics but he didn’t care. It was hot and rough, like always. The alcohol was quickly consumed and soon they both had a heavy buzz as their mouths clashed and their bodies joined furiously as Ray thrust into him with reckless abandon. It was always passionate, at least for Kyungsoo. All the years of repression left him how he was but he didn’t care. Ray never judged him. It took three rounds for Kyungsoo to finally seem sated and for the frustrations to finally leave his body. When they finally finished around eleven that evening, Ray looked at him with the moonlight reflected in the sheen of sweat that covered his toned chest. Kyungsoo wiped himself down with his long since forgotten black t-shirt and tossed it to the floor.

“How a bottom like you had a kid, I’ll never know,” Ray jested as he continued to watch Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo looked back at him, his short black hair sopped with sweat and sticking up erratically in an adorable tuft of sex hair.

“Fuck you,” Kyungsoo said as he let his head rest against the wall.

“I mean…I’m impressed you ever got a nut off into a wom…oww!” Ray shouted with shock as Kyungsoo punched him hard in the arm.

“He’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” Kyungsoo said as he finally looked at Ray. The alcohol had ceased spinning the room but his lips were just as loose as they would otherwise. “Every time that bitch pulls the divorce on me I just want to…I don’t know…” Ray looked at him and sighed before he stood up and began to gather his clothes to put back on. He didn’t even have to inquire to payment as Kyungsoo found his wallet from his pants pocket and tossed the crisp hundred dollar bills to the end of the bed.

“If you ever need me again, just call,” Ray said as he finished getting dressed and was about to walk out when he paused. Kyungsoo looked up and Ray was looking at his for a few brief moments before he walked over and gave a small kiss to the top of Kyungsoo’s head. He gave a reassuring squeeze to Kyungsoo’s shoulder before he walked out of the room. When the sound of the front door closing rang through the house, Kyungsoo was once again alone in silence.


	3. Chapter 3

Sweat flew from Kyungsoo’s body as he let out angry grunts with each punch on the heavy bag he gave. The hangover had been thankfully light as did the pain in his rear from Ray’s visit so he decided to work on the bag for a while before breakfast. Music blasted from his phone and echoed across the cement walls of the basement as he punched harder and harder until the bag was swaying so intensely that he had to physically cease its momentum. The sweat had soaked clean through his black A-shirt and it clung to him like a second skin as he tried to catch his breath. The tape around his knuckles was worn out and he knew he’d have to get some fresh ones soon. He gave one more powerful right hook to the bag before he decided that it would be enough for the day and began to undo the tape on his hands. Nothing helped Kyungsoo vent more than an hour on the heavy bag. It always made him feel better and wish he’d kept up with his training. Once done unwrapping his hands, Kyungsoo grabbed his phone and went upstairs to take a long shower. For a good long while, Kyungsoo stood beneath the hot stream of water which coursed over him and helped strip away the stinking layer of sweat that had tacked along his entire body. He made sure to give a thorough cleaning between his legs, front and back, before washing his hair and scrubbing the dead skin from his body with great vigor. Once the burn of the hot water was so strong on the freshly scrubbed that he felt he’d be consumed by it, he rinsed his whole body off and stepped out of the shower. A quick check of his phone told him he had at least two more hours before Jane likely came to drop off Jungsoo. She always came early. Once he got into a fresh pair of jeans and one of his many black t-shirts he put on his boots and decided he’d take advantage of the sunlight and take a short walk. The crisp air was refreshing on his skin, sensitive from the hot shower, and he sighed as he walked out onto the street. Physical activity always made him feel better and he smiled for what felt like the first time in forever as he headed out onto the cul-de-sac that was his neighborhood. A quick look around showed him that most of the other families seemed to be taking advantage of the good weather and many kids were playing out in their yards. Kyungsoo wished Jungsoo was there to have fun with the others.

“Hey, Soo!” came a call from next door and he looked over to see the tall Park Chanyeol and his husband Byun Baekhyun sitting outside while their two adopted boys were fighting over a hose to spray each other with. Chanyeol had called out to him and he raised a hand to say hi. He prayed that they would leave it at that but Chanyeol was already up and walked through the spray of the hose while Baekhyun began to chastise them for spraying their father.

“Oh, shit…” Kyungsoo muttered under his breath as a feigned smile spread across his face and Chanyeol’s looming form approached him. Per usual, Chanyeol was bringing a whole new definition to the word casual as he wore just a pair of sweatpants and a white button up with no shirt beneath it to expose the taut muscles of Chanyeol’s stomach and chest. His neighbor may be annoying but he gave Kyungsoo a few fun fantasies to think on while taking care of things in the bathroom.

“You and little Soo gonna come to the barbeque tomorrow?” Chanyeol asked and Kyungsoo did his best attempts to not look at the water slightly dripping down Chanyeol’s smooth skin. Kyungsoo kept his eyes on Chanyeol’s and gave a small nod.

“Once his mother drops him off then that’s the plan. Got him for the weekend.”

“That’s great,” Chanyeol said and then turned back to his yard where Baekhyun was shrieking from their younger son, Donghui, had turned the hose on him and Baekhyun was quickly soaked while the boys howled with laughter. Unable to deal with the attack, Baekhyun retreated inside where the boys cheered their victory over their appa.

“How’re you and Baekhyun doing?” Kyungsoo asked, feigning interest as he watched the two boys celebrate.

“Oh, you know. Same old, same old.” At this point the kids had abandoned the hose, which began to flood the yard, and rushed over to them. “Now, boys, don’t spray Mr. Do. That wouldn’t be nice.”

“Mr. Do!” the other boy, Hansoon, asked loudly, “I saw some of your fights on YouTube. Could you show me how to do that armbar thing?” This got an actual laugh out of Kyungsoo and he raised his hands defensively.

“Maybe when you’re older but I don’t think your appa would like to find you doing such things to each other, or them,” he said with a smile. Chanyeol laughed heartily at that and, for once, Kyungsoo joined him. The thought of the two kids wrestling Baekhyun brought Kyungsoo more joy than he cared to openly admit.

“Did you hear they finally sold the house at the end?” Chanyeol asked and motioned to the small two bedroom house that rested opposite Kyungsoo’s own.

“Really?” Kyungsoo said genuinely and looked over at it. Indeed, the For Sale sign was gone. “Do we know who’s moving in?” Chanyeol shook his head. “Come on, you’re the nosey one.”

“I know but I really don’t know who it is. I only know he’s a single dad with a little girl. I saw them yesterday when I think they started moving in. I think Jongdae and Minseok know more.” Bored with the conversation, the kids ran back into the yard and commenced fighting over the hose once more. Baekhyun peeked his head out but, after seeing the hose in the hands of the enemy once more, retreated back inside. When the kids were out of earshot Kyungsoo leaned in.

“Think they know where they moved into?” Kyungsoo asked. Chanyeol shrugged.

“It’s hard not to know about ‘Fag Lane’,” he whispered with a bit of sadness in his voice. With only two houses not occupied by homosexual parents, the neighborhood had earned a bit of a reputation for those who enjoyed going out of their way to cause mischief. It didn’t help that the majority of the couples were Asian. Thankfully, not many troublemakers came by so they didn’t have to worry too much.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kyungsoo said and Chanyeol nodded before giving Kyungsoo a hefty clap on the shoulder, which caused Kyungsoo to grunt and give a fake smile. When he finally turned and continued on his walk around the cul-de-sac, he rubbed his shoulder. He didn’t hate Chanyeol, he was just...a lot to deal with. Intrigued with the new neighbor situation, Kyungsoo walked over to Minseok and Jongdae’s house. As he approached he saw Minseok in the open garage. He was doing pushups and their two year old girl, Yuri, was watching him with a big smile on her face and clapping joyously whenever her father gave a smile and wink at her. Jongdae was working on the car’s engine out in the driveway and neither of them noticed Kyungsoo approach until he was halfway up the driveway.

“Hey, Kyungsoo,” Minseok called out over the sound of the radio. This caused Jongdae’s head to pop out from the hood of the car and his cat-like smile quickly spread across his face. Of all his neighbors, Kyungsoo liked these two the most. They weren’t too troublesome and he’d never had to make any noise complaints with them, unlike Chanyeol and Baekhyun before they adopted the boys. It helped that Jongdae shared a lot of Kyungsoo’s woes concerning the birth of little Yuri.

“Hey, Seok,” Kyungsoo returned and knelt down. Little Yuri looked at him with her sharp eyes and a big smile spread across her face as she tried to get to her feet and clomp over to him. Minseok continued his pushups as Yuri smooshed herself into Kyungsoo’s chest and hugged him. “Hi, Yuri,” Kyungsoo said with a slightly higher pitched voice as he gently pinched her cheeks. “God, she just gets cuter every day,” he said as he looked up to Minseok. Minseok hopped to his feet and stretched his aching arm muscles as the large arm holes of his tank top did little to hide his strong physique. It reminded him he had to get to the gym with Minseok again soon. Jongdae walked over, his own tank top stained with grease as he wiped his hands with a rag.

“Hey, Soo,” Jongdae said.

“Hey, Dae,” Kyungsoo responded as he lifted Yuri up and she giggled maniacally. “I just heard that the house at the end was bought. Any idea who it is?” Kyungsoo asked. Jongdae booped Yuri’s nose while Kyungsoo held her.

“Yeah. We met him actually. We invited him to the barbeque,” Minseok said as he toweled some sweat off his body.

“He’s got a little girl. He said she’s four,” said Jongdae.

“Pretty close to Yuri,” Kyungsoo said and smiled as he nuzzled his nose against Yuri’s. She spattered happily and giggled as she gently touched his face. He smiled back at her and finally put her down so she could waddle back over to Minseok and hold him around the leg.

“His name is Kim Jongin,” Jongdae said as he returned to work on the car’s engine.

“Related?” Kyungsoo asked. Minseok shook his head.

“Nope,” Minseok said with a chuckle, “To either of us. We checked.” Kyungsoo nodded and looked to see what Jongdae was working on.

“Are you going to the barbeque?” Jongdae asked as he inspected the engine and Minseok took Yuri inside with him after saying goodbye.

“Yeah.”

“Jungsoo coming too?”

“Of course. I hate to fight the bitch to make sure he could go.”

“Fucking A, dude. I’m sorry about that.”

“Eh…fuck her,” Kyungsoo said and earned a chuckle out of the singer. After a little chatting over the car problem Jongdae was working on, Kyungsoo bid them both farewell and finished walking around the cul-de-sac and proceeded to take a nice three mile walk through town.

About a half hour after Kyungsoo returned from his walk he heard the sound of Jane’s truck pull into his driveway. Without a word he got up and opened the front door just in time to see Jungsoo rush up to him and hug him around the waist.

“Hey, buddy,” Kyungsoo cooed softly as he let a hand run through Jungsoo’s hair comfortingly. He looked up to see Jane glaring at him with Derek watching from the driver’s seat of the truck. With a small smile Kyungsoo returned the wave and felt a pang of victory as she quickly went back to the truck. He ushered Jungsoo inside and closed the door behind him.

Kyungsoo made Jungsoo his favorite dinner, boxed macaroni and cheese with some fresh apple, and they watched a movie on TV. Jungsoo fell asleep halfway through and Kyungsoo spent the rest of the movie just watching his son sleep. When the movie was over, Kyungsoo gently removed his son’s large glasses and thread his fingers through Jungsoo’s hair to wake him.

“Come on, it’s time for bed.” Jungsoo groaned softly but Kyungsoo insisted. “Come on. I’ll help you.” Jungsoo got up and held his father’s hand up the stairs to his room. After changing into his pajamas, Jungsoo brushed his teeth along with Kyungsoo and then Kyungsoo tucked him in to bed. These were the moments Kyungsoo cherished because he knew in a year or two Jungsoo would be too old for this babying behavior.

“Daddy?” Jungsoo asked after Kyungsoo tucked him in.

“Hmm?”

“Why don’t you and mommy like each other?” The question was a kick in Kyungsoo’s gut and it took him a moment to regain his composure. He’d been hit by roundhouse kicks with less impact than that.

“Well…” Kyungsoo said while trying to quickly scramble together an answer while appearing composed. “Sometimes…adults just…things happen and…” Kyungsoo ceased when his words finally caught in his throat. He looked at Jungsoo’s wide eyes that looked at him. A look that seemed to be begging for an answer. “Sometimes adults just stop loving each other.” Jungsoo’s eyes were more trained on him than any of his opponents ever had in the ring.

“Will you…ever stop loving me…?” Almost before Jungsoo could finish the sentence, Kyungsoo leaned forward and embraced him tightly.

“I promise…that will NEVER happen. I will ALWAYS love you.” As he held his son he felt him begin to shudder. Then the tears started. It tore him up inside. Nothing made Kyungsoo more furious than the fact that his son, his only son, was caught in the conflict that was his and Jane’s relationship. “Shhhhh…” Kyungsoo soothed as he held his crying Jungsoo. “Everything will be better. Okay?” His son tried to nod but the tears continued. Without a word, Kyungsoo got into bed and held his son close. Jungsoo nuzzled close to his chest and enveloped himself in Kyungsoo’s warmth. Kyungsoo then wrapped his arms around Jungsoo and held him in a protective embrace. “I’m not going anywhere, Soo,” Kyungsoo whispered, “Daddy will always be here for you.” Fifteen minutes later, Jungsoo finally found sleep once the tears had dried. Kyungsoo let his own eyes shut and allowed sleep to finally take him as well, son still in his arms.


	4. Chapter 4

_Deep moans and heavy panting resonated in the room as Kyungsoo felt fingers entwine in his hair and pull harshly on the dark locks. Spittle had long since oozed out from the sides of his mouth and left a shining trail to his chin and the flow only increased with each new heavy moan. The thick metronome of skin slapping against skin pounding in his ears. The sensation of each new thrust. It was everything he’d hoped for. Everything he’d wanted. Everything he’d needed. Slowly, the euphoric rhythm began to shift. The sound of skin on skin became skin on wood. The pounding on the door. His heart began to seize._

_”Kyungsoo!”_

Kyungsoo woke suddenly and felt a clamminess in his hands and feet. He looked around to see he was still in Jungsoo’s bed, his son asleep next to him. The shine of moonlight flooded through the window and illuminated the whole room. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt like he needed to throw up. His mind quickly began to dissipate the dream but some of the thoughts clung to him. A shiver rippled along his back and he felt cold. He looked down to his son and made sure he hadn’t woken him. With as much grace as his muscles would allow, he slipped over his son and got off the bed. Once he was out, he proceeded to the bathroom, stripped himself of his sweat soaked clothing, and stepped into a hot shower. Immediately the heat in the water began to cut through the chill that had taken over his body. His skin was almost hyper sensitive to the high temperature he had set the water to but he kept it. He needed it. He needed to be clean. So he let it burn away the chill. The fear. Gradually he began to calm down. He shampooed and soaped his body heavily before scrubbing every inch with a washcloth. A part of him missed Ray. Needed Ray. But as soon as the thought revealed itself he shoved it deep down inside and stifled the mere thought with his son so close. So he washed again, heavily, and then finally stepped out of the shower. He dried himself and got into a t-shirt and some sweatpants.

Kyungsoo checked the time and saw it was just shy of 4am. At first he thought about starting his day but he figured he could use a few more hours of sleep, if possible, and went to his bedroom. He flopped onto his bed and looked up at the ceiling. It only took ten minutes for him to realize that he was definitely not going to get back to sleep so he turned on his light and opened his phone. It was a rare thing for him to have some free time before the world woke up so he opened YouTube and found a couple highlight videos of his fights. It was such a different time then. He was on top of the world. The videos usually had some Linkin Park song playing in the background while showing some of his best knockouts and takedowns but the moments he couldn’t help but cringe at was when it would show Jane and a young Jungsoo in the crowd. The way Jungsoo would look at him after a fight, little more than a baby but seeming to adore him. He radiated as he held Jungsoo just after a victory. The way he and Jane kissed after winning the Lightweight Championship almost made him turn the video off. Knowing how he truly felt made the moment of glory almost unbearable for him to even attempt to relive. Then he began to see the videos about his sudden retirement in the aftermath of the controversy. Plenty of videos of holier-than-thou observers making statements as to what they felt he was going through and the like until finally he couldn’t take it any longer. After the videos, he turned his phone off, got out of bed, took off his shirt, and walked over to the mirror. He still had plenty of muscle. Old habits were hard to break but he was nowhere near his former glory. His last fight was when he was 24 years old. That was four years ago and to say he’d been keeping up with his workouts would be an utter lie. Where there used to be nothing but muscle now hung a bit of fat. He flat stomach now had a bit of chubbiness to it. He got into a stance and threw a few practice jabs. With the first combination he knew he was slower. Much slower.

“Fuck…” he muttered to himself as he looked into the eyes of his own reflection. Jungsoo never really got to see him fight. At least not at an age he’d truly remember it. Nor did he give his son a career that was worth remembering. So he sat back down on the bed and rested his head in his hands. For the longest time he could depend on his body to see him through the trials of life. It was what made him such a good fighter. But now he was trapped. Trapped by guilt. Trapped by reputation. Trapped by fear. But he didn’t care. He had Jungsoo and that was all that he wanted.

When the sun finally rose, Kyungsoo looked into Jungsoo’s room and saw his son was still sleeping soundly. He slowly walked in and knelt down next to Jungsoo’s bed and began to lightly brush his finger against Jungsoo’s small nose. At first his son gave only a small crinkle of his face but finally his eyes opened as he retracted from the tickling sensation.

“Daddy…?” Jungsoo murmured as his eyes could barely be seen by how squinted they were.

“It’s time to get up. You have your swim lessons today.” Immediately Jungsoo began to retreat into the small fortress of his blankets and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile as he watched his son’s small attempts at rebellion.

“Can’t I skip today…?” Jungsoo whimpered, his tuft of bedhead the only part of his son that Kyungsoo could see from the blankets.

“I hear they are going to use the flippers today.” A few moments of silence passed before Jungsoo slowly poked his head out from his blankets.

“The flippers?”

“Yeah. I heard they were going to use goggles and snorkels too.” Jungsoo looked at him, cautiously, and then slowly began to unfurl himself from his blankets. “I’ll make you some oatmeal and then we can head over.”

“Can we get a donut after?” Jungsoo asked excitedly.

“You know those aren’t good for you.”

“If I pack my own bag before breakfast, can we?” The smile couldn’t help but break out across Kyungsoo’s face.

“Deal.” Immediately Jungsoo popped out of bed and began to collect his bathing suit and towel once he put on his massive glasses. Kyungsoo headed downstairs and prepared the oatmeal. True to his word, Jungsoo was downstairs with his bag all packed and ready to go before Kyungsoo could serve breakfast. They ate together and Kyungsoo watched Jungsoo eat happily since cinnamon and apple oatmeal was one of his favorites. Once they were done, they put their dishes in the sink and headed out to the car. Just as he was checking to make sure Jungsoo had his prescription swim goggles, he saw a car parked outside of the recently purchased house and heard the front door close. A figure walked towards the sidewalk while seemingly warming up and then, as Kyungsoo opened the door for Jungsoo, the figure began to jog down the road and out of sight. He was too far away to see his face but he figured it had to be the new neighbor. If the new neighbor was active he may join his and Minseok’s little workout group. Brushing the thought aside, he got into the car and pulled out to head to the YMCA.

He watched as Jungsoo stood anxiously at the pool, his prescription swim goggles over his eyes as he watched the swim instructor instruct them on how to properly tread water. Once he saw Jungsoo enter the pool and begin to participate, he headed to the gym. It was only an hour so he focused on his cardio for the duration. After a quick shower he went back to the pool area to find Jungsoo freshly showered as well and anxious for his donut.

“Hey, little guy. How was it?” he asked.

“The flippers make you go so fast!” Jungsoo exclaimed as Kyungsoo polished Jungsoo’s lenses with his shirt before putting them back over his son’s eyes. He ruffled his son’s brown hair and gave him a small kiss on the top of his head. “Dad…” Jungsoo said in a slightly embarrassed tone.

“Too good for my kisses now?” Kyungsoo teased and Jungsoo quickly took his hand and huddled close to him. He saw how a few of the mother’s looked at him as he walked with Jungsoo out towards the parking lot. Some looked at him with aversion and others had more carnal eyes. When Jungsoo first started going to swim lessons a few of those carnal eyes tried to start conversations. Either they didn’t know who he was or they didn’t care and figured they’d give it a shot. They were typically as subtle as a train wreck and Kyungsoo always brushed them off. Once in the car he drove to the bakery down the street and got Jungsoo that long awaited donut. He didn’t even make Jungsoo wait until they were home. Kyungsoo wanted to spoil him today. When the donut was devoured, Jungsoo looked at him with his large eyes from behind the large lenses and smiled.

“I love you, daddy,” Jungsoo said and Kyungsoo wanted to tear up. When they got home he put the car in park and leaned over to give Jungsoo a big hug.

“I love you too, buddy. I love you so much.” Jungsoo nuzzled against Kyungsoo’s chest and Kyungsoo wanted to stay that way forever but he let go after almost ten seconds.

“Can I play some Xbox?” Jungsoo asked and Kyungsoo looked at him as he undid his seatbelt.

“Alright. But only for an hour. You might want to take a nap before the barbeque. All the kids will be there and you’ll want as much energy as pos…”

“Thanks, daddy!” Jungsoo exclaimed before he scampered out of the car and into the house towards the living room where the game system was setup. He sighed and let out a laugh as he finally turned the car off and stepped out of the car. He was about to go inside when he saw something he certainly wasn’t expecting. Across the street, at the newly purchased house, the jogger was seemingly fiddling with one of the windows. Kyungsoo watched for almost a whole minute before he began to walk over.

“Hey!” Kyungsoo called out and the jogger turned around. “Everything alright?” It wasn’t until he was heading up the driveway that he got a real look at the man’s face. He was handsome. Gentle features but a sharp set of eyes. His golden bronze skin almost radiated with the morning sun beneath the thin black tank top he was wearing that accentuated his toned and taut muscles.

“Hi…” the man said, his voice deeper than Kyungsoo would have expected. “I’m your new neighbor and…this is really embarrassing but I kind of locked my keys in the house.” Kyungsoo looked at him, perplexed.

“On your first day?” Kyungsoo had to ask.

“I know…it’s bad. But I have to get inside and I don’t know how these windows work.”

“How do I know you’re the new neighbor?” Kyungsoo asked.

“The Kims over there,” the man said while pointing to Jongdae and Minseok’s house, “I met them yesterday. They can vouch for me.” Kyungsoo looked over and contemplated it but he figured it would be a better idea to not cause such a commotion, especially if this guy was supposed to be coming to the barbeque. First impressions were pretty important and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel that this guy was a little bit dense. With a sigh, Kyungsoo walked over to the window and began to lift them out of the frame. Within two minutes, the man was crawling through the gap while Kyungsoo held onto the window pane in both hands. The man helped put the window back in and then Kyungsoo walked over to the front door, which unlocked and finally opened to reveal a much more relaxed face than the one he’d been talking to since getting home. “Thanks, man. I really, really appreciate it.”

“It’s not a problem,” Kyungsoo said. The man stuck out his hand for a handshake.

“I’m Kim Jongin.” He looked at the hand before he took it and shook it.

“I’m Do Kyungsoo.” He gauged Jongin’s reaction but there didn’t seem to be any.

“Nice to see you, Kyungsoo,” Jongin said as he scratched his head a bit awkwardly after letting go of Kyungsoo’s hand. “Sorry for all that.”

“Like I said, it’s all good, man,” Kyungsoo said once more. “I heard from the Kims that you have a daughter?” Jongin nodded.

“I do. She’s four. Spent the night with my mom last night since they wanted to spend time with her and it gave me a little free time to get things moved in here.” Kyungsoo nodded.

“Will you be going to the barbeque this afternoon?” Kyungsoo asked. Jongin nodded.

“I will.” Kyungsoo did his best to keep his eyes on Jongin’s face, knowing that if his eyes lingered he might get caught.

“Just you and your daughter?” Kyungsoo asked. Jongin’s face fell a little but tried to keep a smile on.

“My wife passed away last year.”

“Oh…” Kyungsoo said, feeling his face flush red from embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I have my little girl, Mina. She’ll keep me in line,” he said with a small chuckle. Kyungsoo could hear the pain in it but he just smiled and nodded.

“Well…it’s great to see you. I’ll see you at the barbeque.” Jongin nodded and closed the door as Kyungsoo proceeded back to his house. When he walked into his living room, Jungsoo was already sitting in front of the television, controller in hand, and his favorite racing game loading up.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time Kyungsoo awoke Jungsoo from his nap and got him ready for the barbeque, they were almost ten minutes late. Jungsoo was in his nicest checkered blue button up shirt, khaki shorts, and sandals. Kyungsoo himself had elected a black button up, black A-shirt beneath it, and his own khaki shorts and sandals. The moment they stepped outside, the smell of burgers and sausages wafted to Kyungsoo’s nose as they headed over to Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s house. Kyungsoo held Jungsoo’s hand as they walked to the front door and before Kyungsoo could even think to knock, the door opened and Chanyeol’s big dopey face was smiling widely in front of him. Kyungsoo was secretly thankful that Chanyeol had covered up his torso with an absurdly colorful Hawaiian shirt as he wasn’t needing any thoughts going through his head at this thing.

“Hey! Glad you could make it,” Chanyeol exclaimed and then immediately turned his attention to Jungsoo. “Hey, little man.” Jungsoo smiled at his favorite neighbor with his eyes widened by the large lenses of his glasses.

“Hi, Mr. Park,” Jungsoo said happily and gave him a big hug. Kyungsoo watched with a small smile on his own lips. Chanyeol returned the smile and was about to say something when the two boys, Hansoon and Donghui, burst out and embraced Jungsoo tightly.

“Hey, Soo!” Donghui cried out happily and the two boys quickly pulled Jungsoo into the house to play with them. Both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo chuckled as they watched them the kids vanish inside. Chanyeol then stood up to look at Kyungsoo.

“How’re you doing?” Chanyeol asked as he looked at him. Kyungsoo looked back and tried to ignore the heat that was coiled low in his stomach whenever he saw him.

“I’m alright. Better than yesterday,” Kyungsoo said. Chanyeol nodded slowly and moved out of the way.

“Come on in.” Kyungsoo stepped inside.

“How’s Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo quickly asked and was thankful that the heat seemed to dissipate slightly from hearing the words out loud.

“He’s out back with the others. Trying to keep things organized.”

“Of course. Is the new guy here?” Chanyeol nodded.

“He and his daughter are in the back.” They began to walk to the back when Chanyeol spoke up again. He’s quite a looker, Soo.”

“Yeah. I met him a little earlier today.”

“Oh?” Chanyeol asked inquisitively as they tried to maneuver around the three excited children. Kyungsoo nodded as he avoided any crazy kids running right between his legs.

“He locked himself out of his house and I had to help get him back in.” A snicker escaped Chanyeol’s lips as they approached the back door.

“He locked himself out of his own house on the first day?” Chanyeol asked. Kyungsoo shrugged and offered a small smirk.

“It could happen to anyone.” They continued to walk in silence for a few moments.

“You look good, Soo,” Chanyeol said. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure how to read that.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo answered with a bit of hesitation but was happy to see that nothing seemed to develop from it. Finally, they entered the backyard and immediately he heard the typical sounds of a neighborhood barbeque. Meat sizzling on a grill, kids laughing and running around, cans of beer opening, and lots of laughter and conversation. He looked around and saw that the whole neighborhood had shown up. Baekhyun was seemingly recovering from being put in charge of games with the kids and now sat on the ground with sweat beating down his forehead. Jongdae and Minseok were laughing and drinking beer while chatting with John and Rebecca Stephens, one of the two non-homosexual couples from the neighborhood. Old Mrs. Jones sat at one of the picnic tables and was telling stories to some of the kids. A quick look to the sizzling grill showed him that Zhang Yixing was operating the grill with his younger boyfriend, Oh Sehun, sitting in a chair nearby and seemingly engaged in a conversation with him. A little ways away from Sehun and Yixing was the familiar face of his new neighbor, Kim Jongin. Jongin stood at the fence and sipped his beer while seemingly keeping to himself. Then their eyes met. Kyungsoo didn’t shy his eyes away and neither did Jongin. Kyungsoo was secretly impressed. Kyungsoo’s gaze typically turned strangers’ eyes but Jongin was seemingly defiant to the sharp stare. With a heavy sigh, Kyungsoo finally walked over once he saw that Jungsoo was happily distracted by the large number of kids to play with. As he approached he could see Jongin give him a little look up and down and Kyungsoo decided to do the same once they were next to each other. “You clean up well,” Kyungsoo said as he looked at Jongin. Jongin’s sweat soaked jogging clothes had been replaced with a white polo shirt and some black slacks. He noticed that, for a strange reason, Jongin had seemingly eschewed his shoes or chose to forgo them entirely.

“Thanks,” Jongin said with a hint of shyness to his tone. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but find him interesting. The fact he was absurdly handsome was something Kyungsoo couldn’t possibly ignore either.

“Where’s your little one?” Kyungsoo asked. Jongin pointed over to the group of kids listening to Mrs. Jones telling stories and he saw a young Korean girl attentively listening. Her black hair had a few braids done and she wore a bright yellow dress and Kyungsoo noticed she was like her father and wasn’t wearing any shoes or socks. Light streaks of green from the grass stained her bare feet and immediately Kyungsoo could see the familiar features that she shared with her father. Their skin was the same golden complexion and their eyes had the same strange unique deepness to them. “She’s adorable,” Kyungsoo said. “How old?”

“Four,” Jongin said quietly and finished his beer. “Is he your son?” Kyungsoo looked over to see Jungsoo walk over and sit next to Jongin’s young girl to listen to the stories as well. Kyungsoo nodded.

“How could you tell?” Kyungsoo asked and turned to Jongin to see the first smile across Jongin’s face he’d seen.

“The glasses,” Jongin said and pointed to the large lenses on both of Kyungsoo and Jungsoo’s faces. A small chuckle slipped from Kyungsoo’s lips and he felt the large frames as he adjusted them on his nose.

“Where’d you get that beer? I could use one.” Jongin pointed to a cooler a short ways away from the grill. “Thanks.” Jongin nodded and tossed his empty can into a trash bag. Kyungsoo walked over to the grill and grabbed a beer before he looked back at Jongin. Jongin had walked over to his daughter and sat behind her, his arms resting on her shoulders, as he watched Mrs. Jones with her. A small smile spread across his lips as he saw the father/daughter duo sitting next to Jungsoo. He opened his beer and walked over to Jungsoo so he could sit behind his son as well and looked to Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Jones was the oldest person who lived in the cul-de-sac at the age of 74 but she had an energy that was hard to top. Her husband had passed away five years prior but it didn’t keep her down for long. She always kept active in the cul-de-sac community and had babysit for almost every kid in that backyard. The whole neighborhood, including Kyungsoo, adored her and she adored everyone back. She was the only one that Kyungsoo trusted 100% with Jungsoo and she was on full display in her white summer dress as she told a story to the kids. The kids were listening intently as Kyungsoo and Jongin watched with some interest. While they listened, Yixing walked around with plates of food for adults and kids alike and everyone was soon munching on burgers and hotdogs. The kids chugged down endless liters of soda while the parents seemed to enjoy their beers with a more restrained indulgence. Kyungsoo and Jongin both held onto their kids as Mrs. Jones finished up her story and all the kids cheered, earning a laugh from the elderly woman. Mrs. Jones started a new one and Kyungsoo decided he needed just a few minutes to himself so he got up, kissed the top of Jungsoo’s head, and walked back to the cooler for a beer and found a shady spot under the tree by the grill. He sipped the cool brew with a sigh of satisfaction and let his head rest against the rough bark of the tree trunk. The beer helped cool his stomach and Kyungsoo saw Yixing and Sehun exchange a peck on the lips. It made his stomach dip slightly and he clenched the beer can slightly. For a second he thought of Ray. Then he repressed the thought and took another heavy swig of beer. Once he finished his beer, he put the can in the trash and let his head rest once more against the tree. It was in that moment he realized just how tired he was. So he closed his eyes. He let the warm gentle breeze wash over him and soon sleep found him. He didn’t dream. He didn’t have the time. When he felt a nudge wake him from his dream, he saw Minseok kneeling in front of him.

“Hey,” Minseok said. Kyungsoo looked at him.

“Hey.”

“Chanyeol and Baekhyun are letting the kids have a big slumber party.”

“Oh?” Kyungsoo asked and looked around.

“If Jungsoo goes, me and some of the others are planning on going to a bar. You can come if you want.” Kyungsoo thought for only a few moments before he was quickly ripped from his mind.

“Can I go, dad!” Jungsoo suddenly burst out and Kyungsoo was shocked as Jungsoo jumped in his lap.

“Oh!” Kyungsoo exclaimed as he grunted from the impact. “Whoa, buddy. Calm down.” Jungsoo was bouncing excitedly in his lap, his little feet kicking rhythmically, and his glasses flopped on his nose to the point that they nearly fell off. “Ok, ok, ok…” Kyungsoo said while trying to refrain from laughing. Jungsoo looked at him with wide eyes and an even bigger smile. “Let’s get you your pajamas and sleeping bag.” He sat up and took Jungsoo’s hand as he looked over to see Baekhyun glaring at Chanyeol, who was too busy getting tackled by a mess of children and howling with laughter beneath their tangle of limbs. Kyungsoo walked Jungsoo back to their house and he watched his son quickly gather together a mess of sleeping clothes and his toothbrush. As his son ran around, he stood by the door. “Are you sure you want to go?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Yes, dad!” Jungsoo called out from the bathroom as he put his little Superman toothbrush into a plastic baggie and stuffed it into his backpack along with his clothes. Kyungsoo smiled and watched his son finally approach with his bag and an impossible to deny smile.

“Alright,” Kyungsoo said, “Let’s go.”

They walk back to Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s house and Jungsoo immediately abandoned Kyungsoo for the flood of children that were already building a pillow fort out of Baekhyun’s immaculately organized living room. Kyungsoo smiled as he watched Jungsoo begin to fiddle with some of the pillows. He felt a hand clasp down on his shoulder and looked over to see Minseok.

“Still want to go to the bar? Jongdae, Sehun, and the new guy are going.” He looked over Minseok’s shoulder and saw that exact group of people chatting in the front yard, their kids enjoying the maelstrom that was becoming the Park household. Kyungsoo nodded.

“I’ll go with. I’m just gonna say goodbye.” He looked over to Jungsoo. “Jungsoo!” he called out and Jungsoo looked over as Kyungsoo knelt down. Jungsoo rushed over and gave him a huge hug. Kyungsoo gave a big kiss to the boy’s head and hugged him tight. After a few wonderful moments, Kyungsoo let go and watched Jungsoo scamper back to the kids while secretly enjoying seeing Baekhyun simply surrender to the insanity and accept that his clean house is going to be destroyed over the next 18 hours. Kyungsoo stood up and headed out the door to join the conversation that was commencing outside. They looked at him as he joined them and Jongdae let out a big sigh.

“You coming?” Jongdae asked. Kyungsoo nodded. They all smiled. “Awesome.” Kyungsoo looked around.

“Where’s the new guy?” he asked.

“He’s dropping his daughter off at his mom’s house and said he would meet us there,” said Minseok.

“Anxious to see him?” Sehun asked coyly. Kyungsoo looked at Sehun and his bleached blond hair.

“Was just curious since Minseok said he was coming,” Kyungsoo said as convincingly as he could. Sehun smirked and just shrugged his shoulders as the four of them headed to Jongdae’s car.


	6. Chapter 6

The faint scent of cigarette smoke was laced with an undertone of stale beer as the four men walked into the bar, The Drunken Salamander. They found a table and sat down just as a waitress walked over to take their drink orders. After they told her that another would be showing up Kyungsoo just got a beer while Jongdae and Minseok both got glasses of whiskey. Sehun ordered an Orange Blossom cocktail. They waited for their drinks and Jongin in the smoky bar while chatting amongst themselves. The drinks soon came and Jongdae asked for nachos and pretzels with a cheerful smile. The waitress looked at them all, gave a smile, and left with the order.

“Do you think they know who we are?” Sehun asked as he sipped his cocktail. Sehun tended to be the more frightful one when it came to going out as a group outside of the neighborhood.

“Who cares if they do,” Kyungsoo mumbled before taking a heavy quaff of his beer and putting the tall frosty glass down to the hardwood table. Sehun seemed small and a bit lonely without Yixing next to him to keep him sitting straight. Out of the entire neighborhood, Kyungsoo found Yixing and Sehun to be the most unique couple considering the fact he knew for a fact that Sehun had a few kinks that would probably make it a bit difficult to find partners. Nothing obscene or unhygienic but it would take a certain person to keep Sehun around as long as Yixing had and that couldn’t help but intrigue Kyungsoo. He took another gulp of beer and sighed before letting out a rip of a burp. Minseok laughed as he sipped his whiskey and Sehun flinched at the slightly grotesque action but Jongdae was far too distracted at the sight of his nachos and pretzels approaching in the waitress’s hands.

“Thank you!” Jongdae exclaimed once the food was put down and he immediately began to indulge with Minseok shifting a few inches away from his partner to avoid the chaos. The aromas of smoke made Kyungsoo crave a cigarette but he refused to see if anyone would give one up. On the third go, Kyungsoo drained his beer and placed the empty glass on the table before he signaled he’d like another. The waitress nodded.

“That was quick,” Sehun noted as he continued to enjoy his fruity cocktail.

“It’s been a rough few days,” Kyungsoo responded as he tapped his fingers anxiously on the table.

“Troubles with Jane?” Sehun asked. Kyungsoo nodded and shifted his eyes over to where Minseok and Jongdae were giving each other the lovey-dovey eyes. He continued to tap on the table with increasing force until the waitress arrived with his fresh beer. He nodded in thanks before taking a heavy swallow of the cold elixir. The sensation of the beer cooling down his stomach made him close his eyes in elation and when he reopened them, he saw a familiar face pop in through the door of the bar. Jongin looked around, a bit awkwardly, while obviously trying to find them. Kyungsoo raised his hand, causing the whole table to look to where Kyungsoo was staring, and Jongin finally noticed them with a slight widening of his eyes. Kyungsoo noted that Jongin had changed into a more casual pair of athletic shorts and a tank top with some sleeve holes that went far down enough to show the bumps of his ribs. Kyungsoo felt the blood begin to rush in his body and he took another swig of his beer.

“Hi,” Jongin said, his deep and soft voice difficult to hear over the loud music, “Sorry I’m late.”

“It’s alright,” said Minseok as he moved, unfortunately, closer to Jongdae as to make room for the fifth member. Kyungsoo looked at the bronze skinned father and immediately began to regret his decision to come here. His features, in the dull glow of the bar’s lighting, were only accentuated and the more casual attire gave Jongin the appearance of someone in their teens.

“How old are you?” Kyungsoo asked and felt a pang of instant regret for even asking. While Minseok and Jongdae seemed to lean in, anticipating the answer, Jongin seemed to shrink back while looking at Kyungsoo.

“I’m 25,” Jongin finally said in his typically soft voice.

“You’re young,” Minseok said with a laugh before he drained his whiskey. Kyungsoo noticed the small nod that Jongin gave in response. There was something about the way Jongin moved that captivated Kyungsoo in a way that he couldn’t quite understand. “How about you guys?” Jongin asked, his eyes meeting Kyungsoo’s stare. It took almost a second for Kyungsoo to register that the question had been directed at him and he quickly shook his head to break himself from the trance Jongin put him under.

“I’m 28,” Kyungsoo said quickly before he distracted his mouth with more beer to drink.

“30,” Minseok said with pride.

“26,” Jongdae answered and looked at Minseok. Everyone looked at Sehun and Sehun immediately seemed to want to crawl into himself and disappear.

“20…” Sehun almost whispered before his face flushed red.

“Yixing’s 29,” Jongdae said while nudging Jongin with his eyebrow raising dramatically at him.

“Shut up…” Sehun whimpered and kicked Jongdae’s shin beneath the table, earning a yelp from the older which quickly turned into a laugh.

“Yixing?” Jongin asked.

“The guy he was at the grill with the whole barbeque,” Kyungsoo said, the alcohol having begun to loosen his lips.

“His daddy,” Jongdae said with another grin and quickly raised his legs with an excited squeal to avoid another sharp kick from Sehun’s long legs.

“You guys suck…” Sehun murmured but Kyungsoo reached out and let his hand rub the taller man’s back.

“Why didn’t Yixing come with us?” Kyungsoo asked.

“He said he wasn’t feeling up to going out,” Sehun answered.

“He’s never up for going out,” Jongdae complained with a whiney voice.

“He’s got a lot of work to do,” Sehun said proudly. “He’s a busy guy.”

“He works hard for you,” Minseok said. Sehun nodded.

“Daddy works h…” Sehun quickly cut himself off as both Minseok and Jongdae howled with victory at having made Sehun slip. Sehun’s face was as red as a tomato and Kyungsoo just offered him a hug to comfort him while trying to repress his own laughter. After almost a minute to try and calm everyone down, Kyungsoo let go of Sehun once he was sure the younger wouldn’t rush out of the building right then and there. Jongin looked at everyone with a shy intrigue.

“You’re quite the group,” Jongin said finally and everyone raised their glasses in return, although Sehun required a nudge from Kyungsoo.

“Well we’re gay so what can you expect,” Jongdae said. This time it was Kyungsoo who gave a hard kick to Jongdae’s shin.

“Ow! Fucker!” Jongdae chirped angrily as he rubbed his shin. Jongin looked at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo felt his own face begin to grow red as he tried to finish his beer.

“You too?” Jongin asked. Kyungsoo begged internally that Jongin would shift his eyes to drive the question elsewhere but by the time the beer was empty and the glass on the table, those deep eyes were still looking at him. Kyungsoo’s heart was pounding in his chest. Telling people never got any easier.

“It’s complicated,” Kyungsoo finally said with the usual snark and confidence drained from his tone. Jongin looked a little closer.

“I didn’t want to presume but…are you Do Kyungsoo? The former MMA fighter?” Kyungsoo’s heart sank.

“Yeah, he is,” Jongdae said as finished his nachos. “Give it up, Soo. The glasses don’t do for you what they do for Superman.” Kyungsoo removed his glasses and put them on the table. His vision blurred slightly but he could still see Jongin looking at him.

“I thought it was you. I just didn’t want to say anything,” Jongin said. Kyungsoo nodded.

“I keep to myself,” Kyungsoo said as he rubbed the tender spot on his nose where his glasses typically sit.

“Are the glasses a…disguise?” Jongin asked with a bit of interest. Kyungsoo shook his head.

“My eyesight began to go after I retired. A few too many jabs, I guess.”

“I don’t remember you taking that many of them,” Jongin said. Kyungsoo looked at him.

“You watched my fights?”

“All my friends and I watched you. We were in high school and college but we watched you a lot.” Now it was Kyungsoo who wanted to crawl into himself and vanish. Sehun gave Kyungsoo a return hug for comfort.

“He doesn’t like people figuring out who he is,” Sehun said, “At least not in public.” Jongin nodded, understandingly. Kyungsoo shook Sehun off softly before he stood up.

“I need some air.” Sehun backed away so Kyungsoo could get past and headed to the door of the bar. Once he was outside, the setting sun had long since fallen below the horizon and left the sky black as ink. He rubbed his head as the alcohol, his temper, and emotions swirled furiously within him. He was angry but he didn’t know why. His heart pounded against his chest and his breathing had picked up. He needed a cigarette. He didn’t have one. Of course he didn’t have one. He hadn’t smoked for two years. But he wanted one. He needed one. His hands were shaking when he reached into his pocket and opened his phone. Kyungsoo was just about to press the call button for Ray when he heard a voice behind him, causing him to jump in surprise.

“Hey…” Kyungsoo turned to see Jongin. The bronze skinned man looked near angelic with the bar’s dim lighting illuminating his features. Kyungsoo was angry, scared, aroused, and confused all at the same time. “I…” Jongin started but paused as he seemed to be trying to find the right words to use. “I understand it may not be my place but…if you’re worried about…what I think about the whole…controversy…” Kyungsoo’s stomach flared with anger but he repressed it. “I…I don’t think less of you for it.” Kyungsoo’s breathing was erratic. His mouth opened and closed but no words came to mind or slipped from his tongue. There was nothing Kyungsoo could say concerning that statement. He was frozen. “I’m bisexual…” Kyungsoo breathing caught in his chest.

“You…” Jongin nodded. “You have a girl.”

“You have a boy.” Once again, anger flared in Kyungsoo’s stomach but he didn’t act on it. “I don’t look down on you because of what happened. I don’t think any of your friends do either.”

“Plenty of people look down on me for what I did.”

“But we don’t. Many of them don’t understand.”

“That doesn’t make the days go by any easier…” Kyungsoo finally muttered. “I did what I did and now I’m paying for it.”

“You already did with the whole ordeal that happened afterwards. Because you did…that…doesn’t mean that you can never be happy again. Can never have someone again.”

“Is that why you came out here? To say you were bisexual and willing to fuck?” Kyungsoo snapped. Jongin flinched slightly.

“No. Believe it or not, I was just concerned for you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t worry when I see someone with obvious issues. I want to try and help.”

“You have a girl to look after and I have a boy to look after. We have plenty on our plates.”

“Well…that doesn’t mean we can’t do something together, with the kids.” Kyungsoo looked at him, confusion tangling everything in his brain.

“Your wife passed away. Did you love her?”

“Of course I loved her. I still love her. It took a lot of counseling and talks with family but they all agreed I should get back out and meet new people.” Kyungsoo almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“I’m saying I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying and just winging it right now,” Jongin said with a bit of an out of breath laugh. They looked at each other in silence for almost a full twenty seconds.

“I’m a shitty person, Jongin.”

“I’d like the chance to choose for myself if I agree or not.” Another ten seconds of silent staring.

“I’m…” Kyungsoo stammered. He couldn’t find any words. Of course he couldn’t. He didn’t know what to say.

“Maybe we can help each other.”

“I’m not having sex with you.”

“I didn’t say I wanted to have sex with you,” Jongin snapped back. Kyungsoo flinched. “Being nice to you doesn’t mean that I want you to fuck me.” Another flinch.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Kyungsoo finally said.

“I’m not asking for anything from you. I was just seeing if you wanted to do something.” More moments of silence. “We don’t have to plan everything in advance. We can just see where things go.” Kyungsoo looked at his feet and then to his phone that was still in his hand. He saw Ray’s name. His heart pounded heavily and he could feel his blood rushing in his temples. Three deep breaths. Then two. Then one. He looked up.

“Alright. Then let’s do something.” Jongin nodded.

“Frankly, I’m not much of a bar person. Do you want to go to the park?”

“That’s a six mile walk.”

“I drove, remember?” Jongin said with a small laugh. Kyungsoo’s eyes went blank for a moment.

“Oh…oh yeah…” Jongin laughed and walked over. Kyungsoo looked at the man, the taller man. He could smell his cologne beneath the smell of the bar which had clung slightly to Jongin’s clothes. Then Jongin raised his hands and placed Kyungsoo’s glasses on his face, allowing Kyungsoo to finally see him clearly. He’d completely forgotten in his emotions that he’d left his glasses on the table. Jongin smiled, clearly this time. Kyungsoo felt the fear within him, but it was less so than before. “Alright,” Kyungsoo finally said as he adjusted his glasses. “Let’s go to the park.”


	7. Chapter 7

The faint lights that barely illuminated the parking lot of the park flickered in an almost unsettling nature. Jongin turned off the car and they both sat in the darkness for a few moments until Jongin let out a sigh.

“Here we are.” Kyungsoo nodded as he opened the car door and stepped outside to try and escape the aroma that was Jongin’s car. Beneath the cheap air freshener was the aroma of cologne and male musk. It had been affecting him in ways that left him both unsure and afraid. Deep down he wasn’t sure why he would be either of those things but he couldn’t help but acknowledge their existence. So instead of remaining in that scent a minute longer he got out of the car and took a deep breath of night air. The chill that entered his lungs helped sooth the heat that had begun to build within him since they left the bar. The goosebumps that riddled along his arms when the driver’s door slammed shut were spurred by more than just the chilly night air and it took a few moments before he could find the strength to turn and face Jongin. Jongin looked over the hood of the car at him and it took a moment for Kyungsoo to realize what he was doing. Jongin fumbled in the pocket of his leather jacket, which he had put on before they left the bar’s parking lot, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. The sudden illumination of light from the cheap plastic lighter being ignited almost made Kyungsoo retract in reaction before the light was filled with the billow of fresh cigarette smoke. Jongin took a heavy drag of the cigarette as he put away the lighter, the faint glow at the end of his cigarette keeping the dark complexion of his face and eyes in a dull dark glow. Kyungsoo couldn’t pull his eyes away from the faint wisps of smoke that slipped out of the corners of his Jongin’s mouth and dissipated around Jongin’s eyes, which continued to seemingly stare right through him. He shook his head and exhaled before he quickly tore his eyes off of Jongin and began to walk to the path which led out from the parking lot. He heard Jongin’s footsteps behind him as he walked and could smell the smoke which now seemed to cling to Jongin’s aura. They walked without speaking until they reached the waterfront of the lake which rested along the park’s border. They found a worn out picnic table and sat on it. A few more minutes of silence passed as Jongin finished his first cigarette and pulled out a second to start working on.

“I didn’t think you would be a smoker,” Kyungsoo finally said as he looked over to Jongin. A strong billow of smoke blew from Jongin’s lips and nostrils as he exhaled and looked into Kyungsoo’s eyes. He smiled and held out the cigarette to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo looked at it; the smoldering lit tip, the faint brown color of the butt, and the small crinkles in the paper which held the tobacco in. The aroma slipped into his nostrils while the scent of the cigarette washed through his sinuses and trapped him in a trance of nostalgia. It had been so long since he’d had one. Not so long since he craved one. He took the cigarette gently between his fingers and brought it to his lips. The burn of the smoke entering his lungs soothed him more than any of the couples’ counseling appointments, more than any of the wheatgrass smoothies he’d been forced to have, more than anything she had done to comfort him. Kyungsoo let the smoke smolder in his lungs until he exhaled and allowed is head to fall forward, his chin resting against his chest. “God, that’s nice.” Kyungsoo took another drag before he handed it back to Jongin, who mimicked Kyungsoo. “How did you know I smoked? I never told anyone I had.” Jongin exhaled his smoke into the cold night air and fiddled with the half spent cigarette in his fingers.

“The way you looked at it. I figured either you needed a cigarette or wanted to try it.” Kyungsoo laughed as he looked out to the water.

“How easy am I to recognize?” Kyungsoo asked.

“The glasses worked a little but once you were up close it was pretty easy to tell. Anyone who watched MMA would have recognized you.”

“Did you guys watch many of my fights?” Kyungsoo asked, almost embarrassed that he would ask such an ego boosting question.

“Oh, all the time,” Jongin said with a chuckle. “Not many Korean fighters that were successful against white dudes. At least in the mainstream.” Kyungsoo felt his face flush with red and he turned his head to prevent Jongin’s sight from noticing it.

“Thanks…”

“You were always so confident but humble. We loved how much it pissed off your opponents. You were so calm and just…didn’t boast. Plus you had the wife and…” Jongin quickly cut himself off and Kyungsoo could feel Jongin’s regretful stare on the back of his head.

“Keep going. There’s no shame in saying it.”

“You…” Jongin stammered as he tried to figure out what to say, “You were the one with the seemingly perfect home life. A wife, a kid, and a strong career.” Kyungsoo nodded as he finally allowed his face to return within Jongin’s gaze.

“Yeah…” Kyungsoo said. It was then he realized his voice had cracked and his eyes were starting to water. “I sure did a good job with all that, didn’t I?” He did his best to keep the emotions repressed, as he always did, but he quickly found himself breaking from the rush of sensations. His eyes went hot and his lips began to quiver as his hands entwined tightly together.

“Hey…hey…” Jongin whispered as he slid over and let his arm wrap around Kyungsoo’s now shuddering shoulders. The emotions; fury, anger, fear, jealousy, lust; all had finally found a crack in his armor and were breaking out. Why they did that, he could not say, but he knew it had something to do with Jongin. He shuddered as the tears finally ran hot down his cheeks and he wailed. Jongin pulled him close and let Kyungsoo’s face press against his chest. Kyungsoo’s voice was muffled as the tears spilled out of his mouth in unstoppable bursts and bubbles of near childish cries. His hands clung to the fabric of Jongin’s shirt as his shuddered with each new wail of repressed agony. “Shhhh…shhhh…it’s ok…” Jongin whispered as he let his hand run up and down Kyungsoo’s back. The minutes passed as Kyungsoo emptied everything that had been buried within. Finally, with nothing left to give, Kyungsoo’s body went slack and he felt more exhausted than he had in a long time. But beneath the ache in his body there was the sensation of something that he hadn’t felt in a long time. The pressure, the hold, the claw that clutched his heart was gone. He was spent. He closed his eyes and tried to regain composure over his breathing. Inhale, five seconds, exhale, five seconds. In and out. Slow. Finally, he pulled away and sniffled as he tried to wipe his eyes with his shirt. Kyungsoo then realized he’d stained the front of Jongin’s shirt with tears.

“Oh…” Kyungsoo said with a cracked voice. “I’m sorry…” he said as he tried to find something to possibly dry the front of Jongin’s shirt but Jongin shook his head and pulled out a few balled up napkins from the bar. Kyungsoo looked at them and then to Jongin. He had to start laughing. “You do that too?”

“Never know when the kid is gonna spit everywhere.” Kyungsoo’s laughter built as he took the napkin and blew his nose while Jongin pocketed the others once Kyungsoo was cleaned up.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Kyungsoo said quietly.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Jongin said and let his hand run up and down Kyungsoo’s back comfortingly. Kyungsoo wanted to nuzzle up to him. He wanted to be comforted. He thought for a moment. He looked at Jongin. He pushed the desire down.

“So…you don’t think I’m a piece of shit?” Kyungsoo asked almost disbelievingly. He never thought he’d ask that of anyone. Jongin shook his head.

“We can’t pretend it was a good thing but…what you did…it’s something I don’t think many people who aren’t…like us…can understand.” Kyungsoo was shocked to feel Jongin’s hand rest on his own. “If…if I could ask…do you still talk to him?” Kyungsoo looked at Jongin. A part of him wanted to punch Jongin. It was a quick flash of fury but it was quickly stifled by the look of genuine concern in Jongin’s eyes. He wasn’t trying to insult Kyungsoo. He was just concerned. Just asking a question. Just caring. Kyungsoo’s hand shook and he felt Jongin’s grip tighten slightly. Comfortingly. Kyungsoo nodded.

“I do.”

“Can I ask…if…she knows?” Kyungsoo paused before he shook his head.

“She doesn’t…I don’t think she knows…” Jongin’s grip on his hand tightened further.

“Does…Jungsoo know him?” Kyunsoo quickly shook his head.

“No.” Kyungsoo looked at Jongin. “He’ll never meet him.” Jongin nodded, understandingly.

“Can I ask…is it because of what you did with him…or because he’s a…well…a he?”

“Jongin…” Kyungsoo said a bit louder than he’d intended to use and exposed a little bit more emotion than he’d wanted, “I…” He looked away from Jongin. “I can’t expose him to all of my mistakes.”

“But it’s a part of you. Isn’t it? It’s who you really are.”

“You don’t know me!” Kyungsoo snapped. His emotions, the fury, couldn’t even be repressed long enough for him to calm down. He was too exposed. Too open. “You don’t have any right to judge me!”

“I’m not judging you,” Jongin said, his hand still tightly holding onto Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo tried to pull it away but Jongin held on close.

“Fuck you!” Kyungsoo shouted as he pulled against Jongin’s grip but for some reason he couldn’t find the strength to break free. Jongin held on and looked at him as Kyungsoo became increasingly frantic. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!” Jongin suddenly let go and Kyungsoo was so caught off guard by the sudden freedom that he nearly fell off the picnic table. He paused and looked right in the deep gaze of Jongin.

“Are you saying that to me? Or someone else?” Jongin asked. Kyungsoo froze. He didn’t know. He didn’t have an answer. He was shaking all over and he didn’t know what to feel. It had been so long since he’d allowed himself to…feel. To feel any genuine sense of emotion. To receive any kind of kindness untouched by faux compassion or real guilt for him. The eyes. Jongin’s eyes. They looked at him. Right at him. “You can say it.” Kyungsoo looked around and then back to Jongin.

“W-what?”

“You can say it.”

“Say what?”

“You know what. No one is here. It’s just you and me.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Just say it.”

“What?!” Kyungsoo asked with his emotions and frantic thoughts building once more.

“Don’t lie to yourself. You know exactly what you need to say.”

“I think you’re fucking nuts and I don’t know why I fucking came here with you.”

“The sooner you say it the sooner you can start to accept it.”

“Fuck you!”

“That’s not what you should say.” Kyungsoo was furious. He wanted to get up and leave. But he couldn’t. His body refused.

“You don’t know what the fuck I need! I’ve got my son and that’s all I need.”

“He will find out eventually.”

“No…” Kyungsoo snarled but the bite had left the words.

“He will.”

“No…he won’t.”

“If not from his mother then from everyone else.”

“No…” Kyungsoo said again, this time more akin to a whimper. His eyes began to water again and his body shook but all the strength he’d ever had to hate those words. The words that reminded him. The words that told him what he was. All that hate was replaced with fear. He didn’t care what the words did to him. He could take it. But Jungsoo. Jungsoo was innocent. He didn’t need take those blows. He couldn’t take those blows. Jungsoo was just a child.

“He might know already.”

“Stop…”

“Kyungsoo…”

“Please, stop!” Kyungsoo curled up and pressed his hands to his ears. He tried to block it out. A perfect defense. They can’t break through. If you endure it, they will wear themselves out. Sooner or later, they have to break. He knew he was stronger than them. He always was. He shut his eyes, fresh tears welling at his tightly closed eyelids. Jungsoo needed him. He needed to be strong. He needed to endure. He needed to protect. He needed…he needed…he needed…

The gently sensation of Jongin’s hands touching his own scared Kyungsoo. Over and over, under his breath, Kyungsoo whimpered “no.” When his tongue could no longer help to form the words he babbled desperately but the warm feeling of Jongin’s hands on top of his was too much. The protests slowly died away and he looked up, slowly. His own eyes were blurred from tears and his nose was running. The trails that the hot tears had left on his cheeks now left chilled lines along the tender flesh. He sniffed gently as his eyes cleared enough to show him Jongin’s face. Jongin looked at him tenderly and gently grabbed Kyungsoo’s hands. He lowered them from Kyungsoo’s ears and placed them in his lap. Kyungoo looked at Jongin’s sharp eyes and found himself falling into them.

“I’m…” Kyungsoo’s voice was spent from his two outbursts. It had the strength of a beaten warrior. Jongin’s eyes never wavered from his own. He looked back. “I’m gay…” It was barely audible. Even he could barely hear it. Silence washed over them but neither looked away. Jongin let go of Kyungsoo’s hands. Slowly he reached up and placed his arms around Kyungsoo and pulled him into a deep embrace. Kyungsoo’s own arms reached up and wrapped around Jongin with what little strength he could summon. They remained that way for a long time with only the sound of the water gently lapping against the sand as white noise to this monumental moment in Kyungsoo’s life. He held Jongin as tightly as he could manage.

“I’m sorry for being an ass about it,” Jongin said. Kyungsoo chuckled with a cracked voice as they finally pulled apart. They sat next to each other in silence for almost another minute before Kyungsoo pulled out his phone.

“It’s getting late.” Jongin nodded and eased himself off the picnic table and reached into his own pocket. Kyungsoo got up as well just as Jongin pulled out his own phone, flipped it open and handed it to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo saw it was on a ‘New Contact’ page. He looked up. Jongin looked back. Kyungsoo looked down and typed in his information before he opened his own phone and handed it to Jongin. Jongin did the same and handed it back. Jongin pocketed his phone and they headed back to the car. The ride back to the neighborhood was silent but it was not from anger. They were both exhausted. By the time Kyungsoo was driven up to the front of his house, he was yearning for bed and his eyes were heavy. He got out of the car and looked back at Jongin. Jongin looked back. “Fuck it…” Kyungsoo said quietly, “Do you want to come inside?” Jongin looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Have some coffee or something?” Jongin smirked and gently laughed.

“We can have coffee in the morning. You can show me where the best café is.” Kyungsoo sighed and was about to close the door when Jongin leaned over, let a hand press against the back of Kyungsoo’s head to push him forward, and placed a gentle kiss on Kyungsoo’s cheek. Kyungsoo froze. “Try again later. I might say yes,” Jongin teased and Kyungsoo found himself smiling like an idiot. He closed the door and headed inside. The house was empty but, for the first time in a long time, Kyungsoo didn’t. He kicked his shoes off without a care in the world and headed up to his bedroom. He took a quick shower, dried off, and then got under his covers naked. Kyungsoo was just about to close his eyes when he heard his phone vibrate on his night table. He reached over and flipped it open to see a new message with a name that made him laugh out loud.

_Asshole: Sleep well_

Kyungsoo smiled and typed back.

_Kyungsoo: Kindness won’t get you anywhere with me :)_

He put the phone down and pulled the covers up tight to his chin and sleep took him within minutes.


	8. Chapter 8

Kyungsoo ran down the sidewalk with sweat soaked through his tank top. The pounding of his heart and the burning in his lungs told him that he was far from his former athleticism but he had intentions. By the time he got back to his house, an hour after he departed, he saw that Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s house was becoming livelier as the children awoke within. He quickly took a hot shower and threw on some shorts and a t-shirt before he slipped into his sandals and walked over to his neighbor’s home. A few moments after he knocked on the door, it opened and he saw a Baekhyun with dark circles under his eyes and a wrinkled white t-shirt stained with hand prints of grease.

“Fun?” Kyungsoo asked with a small smile on his lips and Baekhyun barely mumbled a response as he opened the door further and motioned Kyungsoo to enter. It only took a moment for him to notice that the house was far from its typically highly maintained condition. The living room was destroyed as a massive blanket fort consumed the majority of the space available and Kyungsoo looked beneath the sheets to find almost a dozen kids still waking from their dreams. Jungsoo was not among them. He looked around and heard sounds of a massive breakfast being cooked in the kitchen. Chanyeol stood at the stove with numerous skillets working a vast array of foods. Jungsoo was helping by mixing what appeared to be pancake batter, the front of his Power Rangers pajama shirt peppered with flour. Kyungsoo smiled and walked towards his son. Since Jungsoo was lacking his glasses, it took the boy a few moments before he noticed his father standing just a few feet away.

“Hi, daddy!” he exclaimed as he sat up and almost dropped the bowl of pancake mix. Kyungsoo steadied the bowl just in time before Jungsoo clamped firmly onto him in a big hug. Chanyeol looked around to see Kyungsoo holding the bowl in one hand with his other arm wrapped around Jungsoo. The sight earned a laugh from Chanyeol, who wore some mesh shorts and a white A-shirt, and took the bowl from Kyungsoo’s slightly shaking hand before he placed it on the counter.

“Did you have a good time?”

“I’m helping make breakfast,” Jungsoo said proudly and Kyungsoo gave his son a peck on the cheek before letting him resume his help. Kyungsoo walked over to Chanyeol.

“I hope things weren’t too rough for you,” Kyungsoo said as he watched Chanyeol’s hands work the six skillets expertly. Chanyeol smiled.

“I did fine. Baekhyun may need some time to himself,” Chanyeol chuckled quietly. “How was your night?” Kyungsoo paused for a few moments in contemplation.

“It was really good.” The tall man nodded.

“We should do something soon. You know you’re my favorite neighbor.” He looked at his neighbor and saw that his hands were resting on the handles of two separate skillets. Kyungsoo nodded slowly.

“Yeah. I know. I’m sure we’ll figure something out.” Chanyeol turned to Jungsoo, who had finished stirring the batter in the bowl.

“Hey, little man. Can you go see how many eggs everyone would like?” Chanyeol asked. Jungsoo looked over, smiled, and ran off to the living room. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol found themselves alone in the kitchen with the white noise of the skillets working away on the stove muting most other noises. “Do you want to go to the bar when…when Jungsoo goes to see her?” Kyungsoo looked at Baekhyun with wide eyes. His stomach coiled.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked dumbly. Chanyeol got closer and their heads were close.

“I just want to hang out.” Kyungsoo looked at him.

“Sure you do.” He looked deep into Chanyeol’s eyes. “What would Baekhyun think?”

“We are in an open relationship. He has another boyfriend.” Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow. “I really like you, Soo,” Chanyeol admitted, “I already asked Baekhyun if I could ask you out and he said sure.” The suddenness of this confession had almost knocked the wind out of Kyungsoo’s lungs and he had to shake his head to try and clear his mind.

“This…this is really…sudden,” Kyungsoo said.

“I know, and I’m sorry but, every time I see you look so down I just wanna take care of you.”

“You know I can take care of myself.”

“I know but…” Chanyeol cut himself off as the sounds of kids rushing into the kitchen to tell him what they wanted. Kyungsoo smiled at the kids and backed away as Chanyeol tried to quickly adjust back to his kind and warm neighborly face. Without a word, Kyungsoo walked to the living room and found Baekhyun, who had huddled onto the one chair left untouched by the children and let his head rest in his hands.

“Hey, Baek,” Kyungsoo said soothingly as he knelt down and patted Baekhyun’s thigh. Baekhyun looked up and sighed.

“Hey, Soo. Sorry if I’m…not really talkative today.”

“You did what I couldn’t,” Kyungsoo offered, “I’m amazed you didn’t run away.” Baekhyun laughed softly and rubbed his eyes with his fingers.

“Didn’t get much sleep though.” Kyungsoo nodded.

“I don’t want to…put something on you so suddenly. But I have to ask.” Baekhyun looked at Kyungsoo with his tired eyes. “Chanyeol just asked me to go to a bar. I think it was a date and he said you guys were in an open relationship. Is that true?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said with a nod. With all the children in the kitchen, there were no kids in sight. “He’s always had a thing for you, Soo.”

“I mean…I kinda figured but…I don’t know. It feels weird.”

“If it’s weird because you’re afraid I’ll get jealous or something, trust me I won’t. I’ve been seeing a guy for a while and Chanyeol usually is here alone with the boys when I go out.” Despite knowing the information was not a lie, there was something inside that told Kyungsoo that it wasn’t quite right.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo repeated but stood up. “There’s just a lot going on to process so I don’t know what to think for the time being.” Baekhyun nodded.

“It’s completely understandable. A polyamorous relationship is a bit difficult to understand at first but as time goes on it…it just starts to make sense. At least for me and Channy.” Kyungsoo nodded.

“I’ll…think it over…” Kyungsoo said quietly as he pat Baekhyun on the back and headed into the kitchen to try and alleviate some of the chaos that Chanyeol was enduring from the flood of children.

By the time everyone had finished breakfast and gathered their things it was almost ten in the morning. Kyungsoo helped Jungsoo pack and they walked home. As they got home, and Kyungsoo told Jungsoo to take a shower, Kyungsoo felt his phone vibrate and he let out a sigh before he opened it. It was Jane with the time she was going to pick Jungsoo up. The pressure returned to his heart as he read that she was going to pick Jungsoo up at noon that day. He wanted to argue but he didn’t have the strength.

_Please don’t take him for two weeks._

It was all he could find the strength to ask of her. Her response was quick.

_Why are you doing this? We had an agreement._

_We didn’t have an agreement. You told me what was happening and that I needed to deal with it. I’ll let you have him for the whole week and weekend but I’m not doing two whole weeks without him._

_Well that’s how it’s going to be._

Kyungsoo’s heart flared.

_I will get the police involved if I have to._

The return text took a little longer than usual.

_You know who they’ll side with._

_It doesn’t matter. This is not the said agreement that we signed and I’m not going to take it anymore. We return to the original schedule or I get the lawyers involved again._

Another longer pause.

_We will discuss this in person._

_No, we will not. That is my deal. We return to the original schedule that we signed with the lawyers or I call them back up and let them know you’re not cooperating and I WILL fight for full custody._

_You would do that to our son?_

_Now he’s OUR son?! I thought he was YOUR son! That’s the deal. Take it or get ready for a call from my lawyers._

With that, Kyungsoo threw his phone onto the couch and sat down. His body was shaking from a huge collision of various emotions. A few minutes passed and finally his phone vibrated. He picked up the phone.

_Fine._

Deep down Kyungsoo allowed only a brief relief of the stress. He knew things wouldn’t last this way for long but he intended to keep it going as long as possible. He was not above being a prick and request full custody. His confidence was returning as well as his attitude. He loved his son more than anything and he wasn’t going to let ANYONE try to kill that relationship. By the time Jungsoo came down from his shower Kyungsoo had calmed down.

“Your mom is coming at noon to pick you up for the week.” Jungsoo’s eyes fell but Kyungsoo gave him a big kiss on the forehead. “But, the next week you get to spend all with me.”

“Daddy…” Jungsoo whimpered with a smile but tears in his eyes. Kyungsoo held him close, let Jungsoo be wrapped in the warmth of his embrace.

“You’re my little man,” Kyungsoo cooed softly into Jungsoo’s ear and looked his son in the eyes. “Who’s my little man?”

“I am…” Jungsoo said with a sad smile. “I want to be strong like daddy.”

“You will be stronger than daddy,” Kyungsoo promised. “I swear you will be the strongest man alive.” He held his son close once more and did his best to hide the tears that welled in his own eyes. The goodbyes never got any easier.


	9. Chapter 9

_Kyungsoo held his stance as he looked down his opponent, Brent Harrison. His lungs burned as he tried to keep his breathing even and heavy while reading Brent’s every movement. His hands ached but he ignored it and refused to let his guard down. Suddenly Brent’s forward leg kicked out and struck hard on the inside of his thigh. The impact made him wince and he tried to back up but Brent was on him in a fresh offensive. When the fists started flying, Kyungsoo covered up best he could but some broke through. The strikes on his arms weren’t that bad but the surprise uppercut to his stomach nearly knocked the wind out of him. Despite his best efforts, Kyungsoo stumbled back and he knew Brent smelled the opening. Kyungsoo went for a front kick to try and keep him away but Brent caught it with one arm and seemed to be going for a takedown. Kyungsoo, delirious from the sudden attack, stupidly went for the leg with both arms. Immediately he cursed himself for his idiotic mistake but the millisecond opening was all Brent needed. Kyungsoo felt himself falling before he could register the impact from Brent’s strong right hand. Brent was on him before Kyungsoo could even take note of all these sensations but his hands raised instinctively to block the hammer fist strikes Brent began to rain down on Kyungsoo’s face. The buzzer sounded and the referee quickly came in and separated them. The shakiness of Kyungsoo’s mind had him, for just a second, think that he lost. It was when he saw his coach motioning to get to his corner of the ring that Kyungsoo got up and walked over._

_“Shit,” his coach muttered as he noticed the cut that had formed just over Kyungsoo’s right eye. “If I knew you’d just be letting him in I would have sent him an invitation.”_

_“He’s fast…” Kyungsoo said as he pulled out his mouth guard, tried to catch his breath, and regain his bearings. The sharpness of his coach’s deep blue eyes told him he was about to get a scolding._

_“We knew that going into this. He’s also bigger and stronger. What the hell did we work on if you’re just going to try and punch it out with him?”_

_“I’m trying to get in,” Kyungsoo said as his coach wiped the blood from his rapidly swelling cut._

_“Another round like that and the only place you’ll be going is to the showers while he walks away with the money.” Kyungsoo looked over, through the fighting cage, and saw them. Jane and their one year old Jungsoo. Jane was wearing the sea green dress he’d bought her while Jungsoo had his little khaki pants and blue button up on. Jane cheered while holding onto their son but Kyungsoo could only feel his son’s eyes on him. He didn’t want her to bring him but she had done so regardless. Now Jungsoo looked at him with his wide eyes. He couldn’t tell if Jungsoo knew what was going on but he knew, he felt, Jungsoo knew who he was looking at. His coach grabbed him by the chin and pulled his eyes back to the situation at hand. “Look. Do whatever it takes. You’re going to lose a war of attrition with this guy. Get in close and break his goddamn hand if you have to.” Kyungsoo nodded and popped his mouth guard back in._

_The bell rang and they were back in the middle. Brent almost seemed like he hadn’t even gone through two three minute rounds already while Kyungsoo felt like he’d been through four. His eye began to ache and he could feel the weight in his feet begin to slow his movements. Brent’s front leg snapped out with a fresh kick at his thigh. Kyungsoo took the blow and winced and felt the fresh wound add to the weight. He moved around the ring as he tried to find a new opening, any opening, in Brent’s defense but he couldn’t find one. He continued to move and for the briefest of seconds, his eyes were pulled from Brent’s form to see Jungsoo bouncing up and down in Jane’s arms. Jungsoo was watching him. Brent saw the distraction and went for another strong strike to Kyungsoo’s face. Kyungsoo returned his gaze and shifted his face barely out of the way. With the only opening he had found the whole fight, Kyungsoo grabbed onto Brent’s exposed arm, and pulled Brent close. The suddenness of the counter gave Kyungsoo what he’d been looking for. He slammed a harsh knee into Brent’s stomach and he felt the wind leave Brent’s body. With a quick twist, he threw Brent over his hip and before Brent could land on the mat Kyungsoo had the figure four arm lock cinched in. He quickly used his knee to lock down Brent’s other arm and he pressed the entirety of his bodyweight on Brent’s chest. Brent looked at him and Kyungsoo knew he’d won. He applied further pressure to the lock and Brent struggled but it became clear as the seconds passed. The sound of Brent’s trapped hand tapping on the mat was unheard by Kyungsoo but once the referee came in and broke the hold, Kyungsoo knew he’d somehow done it. The crowd was cheering with elation and surprise at the sudden twist. He barely remembered his hand being held up and the victory declared._

_He entered the locker room while his coach continued to talk about how great the finish was but he wasn’t listening. He sat down while his coach removed his gloves and inspected the cut above his eye._

_“It’s going to swell a bit but I think you avoided anything too bad.” Kyungsoo nodded and looked at his coach. They smiled at each other and Kyungsoo felt his coach’s hand ruffle his sweaty hair. The door opened and Kyungsoo looked over to see Jane walk in. Her face was beaming and she quickly gave him a big kiss on the lips. He returned it and, once again, couldn’t really comprehend the words she was saying as he was still riding out the high of the fight._

_“You did great, baby!” Jane exclaimed as she got a towel to try and help dry him off. He smiled at her and took the water his coach offered._

_“Where’s Jungsoo?” he asked._

_“He’s with my mom. I figured it would be best for him to see you when you get home.” Kyungsoo nodded and felt his hands unconsciously clench. He wanted to hold him._

_“He really had us worried for a second,” his coach said and chuckled before giving a playful punch to Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Jane smiled and gave Kyungsoo another kiss._

_“I’ll see you later tonight,” she said. Kyungsoo nodded. She turned to his coach and gave him a peck on the cheek._

_“Good to see you, Ray.” Kyungsoo’s coach smiled at her and returned the kiss to her cheek. “You still coming to the barbeque this Sunday?”_

_“Of course,” Ray said. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” With that Jane gave Kyungsoo one more kiss and departed. Once the door was closed and the room silent, Ray grabbed the proper medical equipment and began to clean the cut. Kyungsoo sat quietly as Ray worked and winced slightly at the burn of alcohol cleaning out his wound. “It’s not bad to need stitches but I’d keep it clean and covered until it starts to heal.” With a soft nod, Kyungsoo looked up into Ray’s eyes and Ray looked back. Gently, Kyungsoo’s tired hands reached for Ray’s wrist which held the alcohol swab and pulled it from his hand. Ray did nothing as Kyungsoo led the tips of Ray’s fingers down the definition of his chest and stomach before he let Ray’s hand rest on the waistband of his MMA shorts. “Really?” Ray asked with a small smile. “Now?” Kyungsoo nodded and leaned in before he kissed Ray heartily. The moments passed as Kyungsoo’s head became foggy with a new kind of adrenaline and it wasn’t until his lungs were burning that they pulled apart. Ray quickly got up and locked the door to their locker room and when he returned Kyungsoo had already pulled down his shorts and cup. Kyungsoo gasped as Ray took him in his mouth and he let his hand thread through Ray’s hair._

Kyungsoo exhaled heavily as he finished his last rep of pushups in Minseok’s garage. He stood up and grabbed a towel to wipe himself down, having eschewed all but his mesh shorts, and went to his phone while Minseok finished up his own workout. Just as Kyungsoo was relieved to find no new messages from Jane he heard Minseok.

“Hey there,” Minseok said and Kyungsoo looked over to see Jongin walk up. It looked like Jongin had just finished running as he was wearing his typical mesh shorts and tank top, both of which seemed as sweat soaked as his hair. Jongin waved to Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo nodded back at him. Minseok turned down the music that was blasting from his phone.

“You guys just finishing up?” Jongin asked and Minseok nodded.

“Yeah. We usually workout on weekdays in the morning,” Minseok said, “If you ever want to join us then by all means.” Jongin nodded.

“I think I’ll take you up on that. The gym is a bit out of my price range at the moment.” Jongin’s eyes shifted to meet Kyungsoo’s own unconsciously lingering gaze. “I also never have had the chance to train with a former fighter, either.”

“Minseok’s the fighter now,” Kyungsoo said and motioned to Minseok’s stellar physique. “I’m still mad he never went pro.”

“I was never that good,” Minseok shot back and Kyungsoo allowed a chuckle before he grabbed his water bottle and began to chug. “But yeah, if you ever want to join us we start at 6am.”

“That’s a bit…early?” Jongin asked and Minseok laughed.

“Well I have to be at work at 9 and I don’t want Jongdae hounding me in the mornings,” Minseok jested. Jongin nodded.

“What do you do?” Jongin asked and Kyungsoo looked up at him after finishing his water bottle. The few moments of awkward silence had Minseok interfere.

“He’s got plenty to get by, as I’m sure you could guess. But believe it or not he still works a little. Can I say?” Minseok asked. A submissive exhale gave Minseok the go ahead. “He writes short stories and submits them to magazines and websites. Uses a pen name so no one knows it’s him.”

“What is it?” Jongin asked with a twinge of excitement in his voice.

“You’ll never know,” Kyungsoo said as he stood up and cracked his neck.

“I still don’t know it,” Minseok said with a pout. “I’ve tried google and theories but found nothing.”

“It’s to help Jungsoo get through college and some other things,” Kyungsoo said to Jongin as he found his forgotten tank top and put it on, not liking being so exposed to Jongin. “Well I’m going to get going. I have some…work…to do.” He shot Minseok a playfully upset look before he headed out of the garage. He was halfway to his house when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Jongin.

“Want to have dinner with Mina and me?”

“You really enjoy the ‘catch them off guard’ angle, don’t you?” Kyungsoo said. Jongin shrugged.

“It earns a more honest reaction.”

“Jungsoo is with his mom for the week.”

“So?”

“Your daughter won’t mind?”

“She’s a little tomboy and loves meeting new people. I know she and Jungsoo were getting along at the barbeque and she was very upset I didn’t let her stay at the party. Still a bit too young, in my opinion.” Kyungsoo nodded.

“Chanyeol’s a piece of work but he’s got a good heart.”

“Well, we are eating at six. Interested?” Kyungsoo exhaled.

“Sure. It’ll save me from eating all the pudding cups.” Jongin laughed.

“Great. See you then.” He watched as Jongin walked away to his house and it wasn’t until he vanished inside that Kyungsoo moved back to his house.

It was quarter to five and Kyungsoo had taken an unnecessary second shower and found himself standing nude in front of his body mirror with different clothes in his hand.

“Why am I doing this?” Kyungsoo asked out loud but no answer came. He sighed as he tossed the black shirt onto his bed and returned to his closet. Black button ups, black t-shirts, and black dress shirts. “Why do I wear so much black?” he muttered to himself as he knelt down and tried to find an abandoned shirt of another color. Any color. Anything that didn’t scream depressing. He found it. A lone dark green long sleeve shirt from before the divorce that avoided being thrown out. After a quick smell to make sure it wasn’t funky, Kyungsoo chose it and a pair of jeans. He put a black t-shirt on underneath and got dressed. He still didn’t know why he cared. But he did.

When the door opened after Kyungsoo knocked, he was greeted with a very different look than he was expecting. The typically disheveled Jongin had messily styled his hair and put on some nice clothes.

 

(What they’re wearing and their hair styles)

Kyungsoo- https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2015/10/do1.jpg

Jongin- https://ourexoticplanet.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/kai_5.jpg

 

 

“You dressed up,” Kyungsoo said as he tried to take in the frustratingly wonderful aesthetics that Jongin was exuding.

“So did you,” Jongin said and raised an eyebrow coyly at him. Kyungsoo just sighed and was about to ask if they should go inside when he saw a head poke out from behind Jongin’s long legs. “You remember Mr. Do, right Mina?” Jongin cooed, his voice laced with fatherly adoration and Mina looked at Kyungsoo while her arms were wrapped tightly around her father’s leg. “He’s Jungsoo’s daddy.” Mina’s face seemed to brighten at the sound of Jungsoo’s name and she smiled at him.

“Hello,” she said, still with some shyness, but stepped out to show Kyungsoo her baby blue dress. Once again, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but notice that neither Jongin nor Mina wore shoes. At least their feet were clean. He smiled at her and knelt down to be at her level.

“You look very cute,” Kyungsoo said with a smile and he held out his hand for her. She looked at it and then to Jongin and Jongin nodded. She took Kyungsoo’s hand and gave it a small squeeze with both hands. He couldn’t help but laugh and gently squeezed back.

“What do you say, Mina?” Jongin said.

“Thank you,” Mina said, her small voice reminding Kyungsoo when Jungsoo was that age. She began to pull Kyungsoo inside and he stood up to follow her while Jongin stepped aside. The aroma of scented candles hit his nose and Kyungsoo entered the house to find it was quite messy. Half empty and even empty boxes were lining the walls of the hallway. He saw lots of artwork, glassware, and all sorts of household accessories. Beneath the scent of the candles Kyungsoo smelled kimchi and chiles.

“We’re still finding places for stuff,” Jongin admitted as he scratched the back of his head. “I have to finish dinner but perhaps you could show Mr. Do your room, Mina.”

“Ok, daddy!” she exclaimed happily and quickly began to tug on Kyungsoo’s arm towards one of the side rooms. He looked to Jongin and only got a subtle wink before Jongin smiled and headed towards the kitchen at the end of the hall. Mina opened the door to her room and he was bombarded by the vibrant pink walls. Her bed was covered in Pokemon plushies but the rest of her room was clean as a whistle. She had a white wool carpet and a large chest marked “Toys”. Her closet was immaculately organized and filled to the brim with brightly colored dresses, shoes, shirts, and pants. At once she brought him over to the bed and introduced him to all of her plushies. Every. Single. One. By name. Kyungsoo said hello to each of them. She then showed him her closet and toy chest. Finally she brought him over to the small table by the window and showed him her drawings.

“Wow, Mina. These are actually really good,” he said honestly as he looked over the drawings on her desk. There was still the signs of developing coordination in the pencil marks but there was very clear potential. She beamed proudly as he sorted through her drawings. A lot of them were of Jongin, her, and a woman he could only presume was her mother. His heart sank a bit when he looked at the lines of lead detailing the mother’s face. He wanted to ask her but chose not to. “Is this you and your daddy?” he asked when he found one of just her and Jongin. Mina nodded. A few other pictures showed Mina and her mother watching Jongin doing something. “What is happening here?” he asked.

“Daddy is dancing,” Mina tells him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Daddy dances?” Mina nodded proudly.

“He’s really good. Daddy is going to teach me ballet.” Kyungsoo nodded and put the pictures down.

“Thank you for showing me,” Kyungsoo said and Mina smiled. She then took Kyungsoo’s hand and walked to her door.

“Daddy! I showed Mr. Do my room! Can we eat now?!” Her shrill cry almost made Kyungsoo jump but it quickly turned into a laugh as she led Kyungsoo to the kitchen. He was struck with the aromas of Korean food and Jongin was still setting the table.

“We’ll be ready in a little bit, Mina,” Jongin said softly to her. “Just need a few more minutes.”

“Need a hand?” Kyungsoo asked.

“I’ll be ok.” Kyungsoo ignored him and walked over to the stove where he saw a pot of bubbling kimchi stew, some freshly made green onion pancakes, and a bowl of beef marinating for bulgogi. His stomach grumbled as he stirred the pot and smelled the rich aroma of kimchi, pepper, and pork. “You make all this yourself?”

“It was that or Chef Boyardee,” Jongin said and Kyungsoo smirked.

“Well I’m going to cook the meat,” Kyungsoo said before he grabbed a skillet and put it on the stove.

“It’s not polite for the guest to do any work,” Jongin said as he walked over.

“Our parents aren’t here to scold us. It’ll be fine,” he said and put a little oil in the skillet.

“You’re stubborn,” Jongin said quietly as he stood next to Kyungsoo at the stove. They looked at each other for a few moments before Kyungsoo, without breaking eye contact, put a handful of marinated beef into the skillet. He tried to maintain as much of a straight face as possible but Kyungsoo found himself breaking into a wide grin as Jongin, too, failed to maintain his poker face. Mina, seemingly bored with the cooking atmosphere, ran off to her room. The sizzling and aromas of the searing beef hit Kyungsoo’s nostrils and made his stomach start to rumble but they continued to look at each other.

“Just so you know I’m not salivating because of you,” Kyungsoo said as he went to turn his attention back to the beef.

“Sure,” Jongin whispered, his irritatingly coy smile making some heat coil in his stomach. “You know, you’re way more handsome in person than you were on television.” The coil in Kyungsoo’s stomach tightened.

“That’s saying something since I was always shirtless,” Kyungsoo tried to shoot back but his tone wasn’t nearly as confident as he’d hoped.

“Well, the swollen eyes and busted lips usually didn’t help.” Jongin then raised an eyebrow and gave a playful look of deep thought. “At least most of the time.”

“Perv,” Kyungsoo said and finally pulled his eyes off of Jongin’s smirking face. He tried to bring his attention back to the food but all he could think of was how Jongin continued to inch closer and closer until he was just an inch from Kyungsoo’s ear.

“You have no idea,” Jongin finally whispered in Kyungsoo’s ear and he looked back at him, the coil of heat writhing inside him. This game was quickly approaching a breaking point for him.

“You’re starting to sound desperate,” Kyungsoo said as he unconsciously moved a little closer to Jongin’s face.

“I am,” Jongin responded breathily. “I won’t lie.” Their lips were a millimeter from touching but Kyungsoo finally found the strength to pull away as Jongin had moved to close that distance.

“Not good timing, Jongin,” Kyungsoo said, his hot breath wisping across Jongin’s lips. “We have dinner and your daughter is…around.”

“Am I being a bit too forward?” Jongin whispered. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but look at Jongin’s lips and then back up to his eyes.

“No,” Kyungsoo finally said, “It’s definitely not that. It’s just...a bit too soon, don’t you think?”

“A few hours too soon or a few days too soon?”

“Probably a few weeks too soon but I don’t think I’d be able to wait that long,” Kyungsoo said. Jongin almost seemed relieved.

“Same.” They continued to look at each other until finally Kyungsoo tossed the meat in the skillet and broke the hypnotic trance they’d been put under. Jongin stepped away and exhaled heavily as he went to finish setting the table.


	10. Chapter 10

The meal was delicious and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but admit that it had been far too long since he’d had a good home cooked meal that he hadn’t prepared himself. Despite Jongin’s weak attempts to get Kyungsoo to relax, he insisted on cooking all of the meat so Jongin was left to make the sauce in the meantime. Now they sat, Mina having long since finished her portion and politely asked to go back to her room, while they sat with the hoard of dirty dishes spread out in front of them. A quick look at the clock told him that it was just shy of 7:30 and he looked at Jongin.

“When is her bedtime?” he asked. Since they had started dinner, the glow in Jongin’s eyes had faded back to their normal cheeriness but that one sentence brought it back full force.

“At eight.” Kyungsoo nodded.

“So what do you do? Mina told me you dance.” A part of him enjoyed seeing Jongin squirm at the just as quick departure from the insinuating question. Jongin nodded after composing himself.

“I did ballet for a long time when I was young and tried to get into it as a career. Turns out it’s more difficult to get a Korean guy into the mainstream than I thought.”

“How long did you do it?”

“Started when I was eight. Kept doing it through high school and then found some companies to dance for until I was about twenty.”

“Why’d you stop?”

“It wasn’t getting the bills paid.”

“No family?” Jongin shook his head. “What’d you do after that?” Jongin looked to Mina’s room and then back to Kyungsoo.

“I’m going to put her to bed. She won’t mind going a bit early.” Kyungsoo nodded and watched Jongin stand up and head to his daughter’s room. A few small protests were heard from the kitchen but Kyungsoo saw him lead Mina to the bathroom to help her get ready. About ten minutes passed until Jongin kissed her goodnight and closed the door to her room. The silence of the house had finally helped settle in the nervousness that Kyungsoo was feeling. Without a word, Jongin took Kyungsoo’s hand and lead him to the door of the basement.

“You’re not going to tie me up and kill me are you?” Kyungsoo asked as they stepped downstairs and he saw that it was a finished basement. Jongin chuckled softly before he led him to a corner of the basement that had a mattress, TV, a small fridge, a bunch of candles, and a large pile of dirty clothes.

“Sorry about the mess. Didn’t know I’d have company.” Kyungsoo looked at him and shook his head.

“You’re lucky you’re charming.” Jongin smiled and they sat down on the mattress. “Don’t you have a bedroom?” he asked as he saw Jongin pull out a bag and a weed pipe from next to his mattress.

“I do but it’s right next to Mina’s room and isn’t exactly presentable. ”

“This is presentable?” Kyungsoo asked with a smirk as he looked around the little nest that Jongin had seemingly made for himself.

“When it’s your lounge spot, yes,” Jongin retorted coyly as he held up the half-filled weed pipe in a particular way and Kyungsoo shook his head. Jongin packed it and took a hit off the pipe. Kyungsoo watched Jongin hold it in, close his eyes, and exhale as he let his body loosen up to relax on the mattress. He motioned Kyungsoo to come over and he did so. After one more hit, Jongin put the pipe down and used the same lighter to light one of the orange scented candles by his bed. He then reached into the small fridge by his bed and pulled out a frosty bottle of soju, which he opened up and took a heavy swig from. It had been a long time since Kyungsoo had had soju and he didn’t hesitate when the bottle was handed to him. Kyungsoo took the bottle and took his own mouthful of the Korean booze. The slight sweet taste of unflavored alcohol was one that he’d missed as much as the burn it gave him when he drank it. They passed the bottle back and forth for the better part of ten minutes with silence being their background music. Finally, once the soju had left him with a nice buzz, Kyungsoo spoke.

“If I knew we were going to turn back into teenagers I would have brought my Nirvana shirt.” Jongin laughed as he took his final hit for the evening and put the weed pipe down.

“Sorry. If we were gonna get talking seriously, then I needed to get her to bed and relax a little.” Kyungsoo nodded.

“I understand.” Jongin exhaled and ran a hand through his dark locks.

“When the ballet…didn’t work out, I got into stripping.” Kyungsoo almost coughed on the soju he was drinking in that instant.

“Oh…” was all Kyungsoo could come up to say. Jongin smiled and let his head rest against his pillow.

“It paid better. Apparently I was pretty good.” Jongin took the soju bottle and drank from it again. “You’d be surprised how many married men love young dick in their face.”

“Did you…?” Kyungsoo started to ask.

“No. No sex. But I didn’t really give them much to the imagination.” Kyungsoo nodded and continued to work on the soju.

“How’d you meet your…wife?” Kyungsoo asked once the alcohol calmed the butterflies in his stomach. “Seems like a hard place to meet a nice woman.”

“We worked the same club. Got talking. One thing led to another and we had Mina about 14 months after we met.”

“Pretty quick.”

“Yeah. I don’t regret a moment of it though. We started out just as friends. Apparently she thought I was cute while the others thought I was hot. It was just, different, to hear that opinion so we started talking more. Then one night we had a bit too much to drink and took some big steps before the sun went up.” Kyungsoo looked at the bottle in his hand and the pipe which Jongin had eschewed. “Don’t worry. I don’t do stupid stuff when I’m drunk. Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow. “Much,” Jongin added with a smile. “I’ve been called the shy drunk who just sits and doesn’t want to do anything. What kind of drunk are you?”

“The kind that does stupid stuff,” Kyungsoo said back and drained the soju bottle.

“You think this is a stupid idea?” Jongin asked.

“I don’t think either of us is going to stop asking that question so why don’t we just see what happens,” Kyungsoo offered. Jongin nodded. “May I ask…how did she pass?” Jongin nodded and his face went deep in thought.

“Car accident. I was with Mina at my mom’s place and the police came to inform me she had been in a head-on collision with a truck.” Jongin shivered slightly and Kyungsoo put an awkward hand on Jongin’s shoulder to comfort him. Kyungsoo felt Jongin nuzzle up to it.

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I missed her for a long time.”

“Do they know what happened?” Jongin took a heavy inhale as it seemed he was summoning the strength to speak.

“I don’t tell anyone this but…frankly I’m getting a good high and buzz going. Plus you did a lot our last time we met so I think I owe you.”

“If it’s too hard to talk about I don’t want to…”

“They found painkillers and alcohol in her system. I knew she had a problem but it had never caused problems with how she was with Mina. We all do stuff in our free time, when we can. Right?” Jongin said, almost asking Kyungsoo to tell him it was true. Kyungsoo leaned over and held him for a few moments until Jongin took a deep breath and composed himself. “Mina was the one who keeps telling me to be happy. She doesn’t know about the drugs obviously but I know she’s right. I loved Lisa but I can’t mourn her forever. She’s always telling me that I don’t look good when I’m lonely.”

“She’s a smart girl. Really observant. Plus a great artist.” Jongin smiled warmly.

“Really proud of what she’s done so far. I know she’ll go places. Enough about all the depressing stuff though,” Jongin said as he pulled out another soju bottle and chugged almost a third of it. He returned his gaze to Kyungsoo. “I started watching you before I even met Lisa though.” Kyungsoo tried to do the math in his head but the alcohol was starting to slow his thoughts just slightly and he knew the heavy swig he’d just taken when Jongin handed him the bottle would only make things worse.

“So…you would have been in high school or…after high school?” Kyungsoo asked.

“First match I saw was you against that Franklin guy. Seven years ago?”

“Eight,” Kyungsoo corrected. “That was my second pro fight. I think I’d just turned 20.”

“Yeah. I was about a week from my 17th birthday.”

“You aren’t making me feel any younger.”

“God, you were fucking hot,” Jongin said, his words slightly slurred, and he laughed as Kyungsoo scowled at him. “I mean…you were more cute then. ‘The Baby Faced Fighter’ everyone called you.”

“I never heard that one.”

“Well, your temper was pretty known too,” Jongin chuckled. “A cute little hot headed Korean with an awesome body.”

“Were you even watching the fights?” Kyungsoo joked as he drained the soju bottle and Jongin got a fresh one from the fridge.

“Of course I did. I thought you were the coolest guy around. I even had a few posters of you.”

“I never had any official posters,” Kyungsoo said inquisitively.

“I kinda made them, myself.” Jongin blushed hard as Kyungsoo began to laugh heavily.

“That is…both hilarious and adorable,” Kyungsoo said once his laughter subsided.

“Don’t judge. It took a lot to get a full sized print of you back then.” Jongin’s own embarrassed laughter slowly died and they were left looking at each other. The smiles were gone and they were riding their own highs.

“It’s taking a lot for me to not kiss you right now,” Jongin finally said. Kyungsoo shrugged.

“You sure you’d want to?” Jongin leaned in and pressed their lips firmly together. The sensation of Jongin’s plump lips were enough to freeze up Kyungsoo’s entire body. At first, neither of them moved and when the shock of the action passed for both of them, they began to increase the eagerness. The heat within Kyungsoo finally had awoken once more and he let the want, the need, take hold of him. Jongin’s lips were moist and still tasted of soju. So Kyungsoo drank from them for as long as he could until they finally pulled apart, breathing heavily and faces flushed red. “How long has it been for you?” Kyungsoo finally asked, wanting to keep a conversation going at least a little while longer.

“Since before she passed away.”

“You sure this isn’t just your dick doing the thinking?”

“I was jerking off to you before I ever met Lisa. Plus, I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say we’re both fathers in pretty shitty circumstances.”

“No lie there.”

“I know this is all going so fast but the moment I recognized it was you at the barbeque…I’ve been…having a lot of thoughts.”

“Horny bastard.”

“Shut up,” Jongin muttered and pulled him into another heavy kiss. Kyungsoo found his hands tugging on the buttons of Jongin’s shirt. He needed to feel. He needed the heat. Jongin’s hands bumped Kyungsoo’s aside and nimbly unclasped the buttons until the shirt fell open and Kyungsoo saw Jongin’s toned chest and defined stomach.

“You got this from ballet?” Kyungsoo asked and Jongin chuckled as he pressed his lips to Kyungsoo’s neck.

“I told you I did well as a stripper.”

“Fuck…” Kyungsoo hissed as his pants began to feel uncomfortably tight. Jongin flipped them over so Kyungsoo’s back was on the old mattress and Jongin shed the shirt before he tugged on the hem of Kyungsoo’s own shirt. Kyungsoo sat up and lifted his arms to help remove the offending material and watched Jongin’s eyes seem to glaze over at the sight of Kyungsoo’s bare torso finally in front of him. He watched as Jongin let a hand gently run down Kyungsoo’s chest and cup one of his pectorals.

“Squishy,” Jongin teased and Kyungsoo weakly swatted Jongin’s shoulder. All this earned was a chuckle from Jongin before he leaned down and began to suckle on the sensitive nub. The first moan escaped Kyungsoo’s lips and he tried to keep his breathing as quiet as possible. “Don’t worry. She can’t hear us. I’ve checked.” Their lips returned to dance together as their breathing became increasingly more desperate and needy. “I always wondered…how big you were…” Jongin admitted despite the blush it spread across his already reddening face. Before Kyungsoo could respond, Jongin’s hand ran along the front of Kyungsoo’s pants and Kyungsoo hissed as the sensation riddled through his body.

“Then find out…” Kyungsoo panted and felt a fresh rush of heat at Jongin’s quickly unbuttoning his pants and working down the zipper. He gasped when Jongin didn’t hesitate to yank down his boxers as well and Jongin groaned at the sight of the stiffening cock gently slapping against Kyungsoo’s stomach. Kyungsoo’s legs went tense as Jongin’s hot breath splayed across the sensitive skin of his cock.

“I’d thought you were bigger.”

“Don’t like it, leave it,” Kyungsoo said but secretly begged Jongin wouldn’t go. He was at full length and it was just over five inches. A part of him had always been self-conscious about his size.

“Oh, I like it. It fits you perfectly.”

“Fits me?”

“Short, thick, and probably spits a lot.” Kyungsoo swatted Jongin again but Jongin didn’t move away from it.

“I’m not that small.”

“No, it’s the perfect size. Any bigger and it just gets uncomfortable.”

“Talking from experience?”

“A little. Mostly practice.”

“Practice?”

“You’ll have to get me drunker before I tell you that.” The hot breath on Kyungsoo’s sensitive tip was driving him mad. “Do you only bottom?” Jongin panted, his hand slowly wrapping around Kyungsoo’s five inch cock while doing so. All sarcasm was drained from Kyungsoo in that moment.

“I’m not…against…topping…” Kyungsoo wheezed as Jongin stroked him gently and made sure he felt every movement. The chill of Jongin’s hand against the heat of Kyungsoo’s cock sent a delicious sensation throughout Kyungsoo’s body and he couldn’t help but grab at the comforter they both lay upon. “Do you…top…?” He had to know.

“Of course I do…but sometimes I may want this,” Jongin squeezed Kyungsoo’s cock softly and Kyungsoo whined from the sensation, “inside me.”

“Let me see you…” Kyungsoo whimpered, loving the vulnerability and needy tone of his own voice as he reached for Jongin’s pants. He needed to know. He needed to see.

“You’re so anxious,” Jongin said teasingly as Kyungsoo undid Jongin’s pants.

“Shut up…” Kyungsoo moaned as he tugged on the loosened waistband but Jongin kept his legs spread just enough so the pants wouldn’t go down. Kyungsoo yanked on the pants again with a pitiful whine.

“I didn’t think you’d be such a little bottom…” Jongin said, the realization of this seemingly of great satisfaction to the bronze skinned man. “You want a peek?” Kyungsoo nodded furiously. So Jongin straddled Kyungsoo’s chest and opened the front of his pants to expose his dark red boxers which matched wonderfully with Jongin’s dark skin. He then undid the button of his own boxers and Jongin reached in to pull out the thick length of his own cock. Possibly shy seven inches and wonderfully thick, it was almost as tan as Jongin’s torso.

“Fuck…” Kyungsoo moaned as he took in the sight of a shirtless Jongin with his length out of his boxers and waiting for attention. “I see what you mean now.”

“About what?” Jongin whispered as he traced Kyungsoo’s lips with this tip and left small traces of precum on them.

“Why you got paid so well.”

“Well…you get it for free,” Jongin cooed. The fun of teasing was well past Kyungsoo as he licked the tip and earned a groan from Jongin. He took Jongin in his mouth and began to bob his head in earnest as his saliva and some of Jongin’s precum began to lubricate it. He could feel the fat head press against the back of his throat but he swallowed around it and found his nose meeting the ticklish sensation of Jongin’s pubic hair. Kyungsoo was just about to get a rhythm going when Jongin’s moan cracked and he tried to pull away. If Kyungsoo saw how desperate he was when he tried to take the cock back in his mouth, he would have chastised himself. “I almost came…” Jongin panted heavily, sweat starting to beat down his forehead.

“You’re quick,” Kyungsoo said with spit soaked lips.

“You’ve been my fantasy since I was sixteen and I haven’t cum in three months. Cut me some slack.” Jongin then slid out of his pants and boxers and kicked them away before he tugged off Kyungsoo’s own pants. “Plus, it’s my turn.” Without anymore hesitation, Jongin leaned down and took Kyungsoo in his mouth and began to suck without mercy. Jongin didn’t have to hesitate to take the entirety of Kyungsoo’s cock as he indeed fit perfectly in Jongin’s mouth. The wet sloppy sounds of Jongin’s lips and tongue working Kyungsoo hard had the shorter man panting within moments.

“Oh fuck…” Kyungsoo groaned as his hands gripped Jongin’s hair. Quickly he realized that he was in the same boat as Jongin and his climax was rapidly approaching only a minute after Jongin started to work him. But he didn’t want it to end. So he pulled Jongin off his cock and into a fierce kiss. The warmth of their nude bodies melding together encased the two of them in a warmth neither had truly felt in a long time. Far too long. Jongin chuckled through the kiss.

“See?”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo murmured as he let their limbs tangle together as their kissing intensified. The two of them began to grind against each other and when Kyungsoo’s fingernails raked down Jongin’s back, Jongin shuddered fiercely.

“Oh shit!” he cried into Kyungsoo’s mouth before Kyungsoo felt the splash of hot cum on his stomach and chest. For a few moments Kyungsoo watched seemingly endless pump after pump of cum spray out from Jongin’s red cock and then shifted his gaze to Jongin’s face, which was hilariously overwhelmed with sensations. When Jongin finally stopped, his body went as loose as jelly.

“That was…oddly adorable,” Kyungsoo jested as Jongin tried to keep himself up on his shaking arms.

“Sorry…” Jongin whimpered as the last pitiful drops of cum seeped from his slit.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m sure we will have plenty more t…ohhhhh…” Kyungsoo was cut off as Jongin began to use his wet slickened cock to grind against Kyungsoo’s still hard length. Before Kyungsoo could even think of a next move, Jongin went down and took his whole length in his mouth. Kyungsoo cried out as Jongin hollowed his cheeks and gave a single loving suck to the tip and then suckled it while his tongue played with the slit. He couldn’t last. Kyungsoo quickly tapped Jongin’s shoulder. “I’m…I’m cum…” he tried to warn but it was too late. He spilled into Jongin’s mouth and the moan which Jongin gave off upon tasting the essence was enough to drive Kyungsoo even further over the edge. He bit his own arm to prevent from crying out as Jongin sucked out all of his stress and anxiety. When he finally came down from his cloud, Jongin was sucking him clean before letting the softening cock out of his mouth.

“I can’t tell which of us is the bigger slut,” Jongin admitted with his cum wet lips turned into a smirk. Kyungsoo punched him in the shoulder.


	11. Chapter 10.5

Kyungsoo’s woke with his head aching and his mouth dry. He slowly raised his head to find he was on the mattress of Jongin’s nest but Jongin was nowhere to be seen. It only took a few moments for Kyungsoo to realize he was still nude and a small window told him that the sun had already risen. A loud grunt escaped his lips as he tried to sit up and get a better idea of what was going on. He felt dirty and really wanted a shower. Kyungsoo stood up and grabbed his boxers before he slipped into them. He was about to head upstairs when he suddenly remembered that there was a little girl up there and quickly went back to the mattress. Feeling like a teenager trying to sneak out of a lover’s bedroom without the parents seeing him, he grabbed his phone and texted Jongin.

_Where are you? I’m kinda stuck down here._

He sat nervously on the mattress until his phone vibrated a few minutes later.

_You can come upstairs. She’s at school._

Kyungsoo quickly put his pants and shirt on before he headed up as quietly as possible with his long sleeve shirt slung over his shoulder. He smelled something akin to bacon and proceeded to the kitchen where he saw Jongin in front of the stove. Jongin only wore a pair of baggy sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his waist, exposing the hem of his boxers in a teasing gesture. Kyungsoo walked over and the sound of his feet on the kitchen floor grabbed Jongin’s attention.

“Morning, sleepy,” Jongin said as he pulled some greasy bacon out of the skillet and placed it on a plate lined with paper towels.

“Morning. What time is it?”

“Didn’t check your phone?” Kyungsoo was still too tired to comprehend the jest. Jongin smiled. “It’s almost ten.” Kyungsoo nodded and put his long sleeve shirt on the back of a chair. “Do I get morning kisses?” He walked over and kissed Jongin softly. It slowly heated up but they pulled away after a minute before things got too intense. “You wanting something else for breakfast?” Jongin teased.

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo muttered as he went back to the chair and sat down.

“Do you always resort to that one?” Jongin asked and plated some eggs, toast, and bacon for Kyungsoo. The second he saw the greasy wonder before him Kyungsoo realized just how hungry he was.

“It usually works.”

“You’ll have to work on some new ones if we’re going to hang out more,” Jongin said as he sat down with his own plate.

“You haven’t eaten yet?”

“I ate with Mina.”

“And you’re eating again?”

“Shut up, I like food.” Kyungsoo scoffed as he began to shovel the eggs down. “Last night was fun. Don’t you think?” This brought Kyungsoo’s eyes up from his food and saw Jongin looking at him. He swallowed the food he had and leaned back.

“It was.”

“Something you think you’d want to do again?”

“Yeah.” Even Kyungsoo was a bit shocked at how quickly he’d responded. He could see the slightest tint of a blush cross Jongin’s cheeks.

“I…I didn’t think you’d be that…open for it.”

“We didn’t even fuck,” Kyungsoo said, “and I don’t think we lasted fifteen minutes. Plus you’re a cool guy.”

“Thanks…” Jongin was suddenly being very cute and shy, like how when they first met.

“Do you always get shy in the daytime?” Kyungsoo teased.

“No…only around you…”

“You weren’t too shy last night.”

“You weren’t too stubborn last night.” They looked at each other and allowed a small exchange of smiles before they proceeded to finish the food. They sat in silence for the duration and only gave each other occasional small smiles or winks. When they were finally done, Kyungsoo leaned back and let out a loud sigh.

“So…thanks for the breakfast.”

“You aren’t leaving already are you?” Jongin asked. Kyungsoo looked at him and felt the heat in his stomach spread when he met Jongin’s eyes.

Kyungsoo gripped the bedposts tightly as he cried out in pleasure as Jongin thrust into him with long fluid motions. The slickness of lube on Jongin’s cock made him slide in without any friction at all but the tightness of Kyungsoo’s walls more than made up for it as Jongin panted heavily from the exertion. Sweat coated their bodies as the bedposts banged against the wall to the rhythm of Jongin’s hips. It had been almost an hour and Kyungsoo’s body was beginning to give out. The cock ring that Jongin had put on himself almost looked painful with how swollen and red his balls were. But he didn’t care as long as it allowed Jongin to keep fucking him. The moans and groans had turned into cries and whimpers as Jongin growled possessively over him and began to play. Everyone once in a while Jongin would let his palm run over Kyungsoo’s precum soaked slit and force a gasp out of Kyungsoo’s raw throat. Somehow Kyungsoo had managed to prevent his own orgasm despite Jongin’s most skillful work on fucking him and striking his prostate almost every time. The first stream of tears down Kyungsoo’s face had dried and fresh ones joined them as Kyungsoo was wracked with the pleasure and need that he’d never had growing up. When he knew that he couldn’t last any longer, Kyungsoo sat up and pulled Jongin into a heavy kiss. Their wet lips clashed together, tongue and all, as Kyungsoo came in white hot streaks across his own chest and even throat.

‘Where do you want it?” Jongin gasped into Kyungsoo’s mouth as he fucked Kyungsoo through his orgasm.

“Cum in me…” Kyungsoo gasped as his body quickly began to give out and he fell onto his back helplessly. Jongin pulled out just long enough to remove the cock ring before he slid back in and shuddered heavily as he tried to resume his previous pace. But both of them new that it wouldn’t be able to last as Jongin cried out and sheathed himself entirely inside Kyungsoo before releasing. The sensation was one that Kyungsoo had missed and he let himself float in the euphoria as he felt himself get filled with Jongin still inside him. It took a few seconds for Kyungsoo to come back to the real world just as Jongin pulled himself out of Jongin. Kyungsoo reached up and grabbed Jongin before pulling him back down into another messy kiss. “I love you…” Kyungsoo whimpered as he tried to be as close to the man as possible. Jongin returned the kisses with equal enthusiasm.

“You barely know me,” Jongin said in return.

“We’ll work on it,” Kyungsoo snapped back before returning to his mission of never leaving Jongin’s lips.


	12. Chapter 11

(Warning. This chapter may be a little rough for some readers)

Kyungsoo sat in his house with the music from his stereo as the only white noise filling his ears. He had a chilled glass with gin and sprite half consumed in his hand while he looked at the blank television. He’d left Jongin’s house shortly before Mina had to be picked up from school. After an hour of writer’s block in front of his computer he deemed that three in the afternoon was soon enough to start drinking. It helped make the house seem less empty. His stereo blasted some Slipknot as he drained the rest of his drink and immediately began to fix himself another. It was his fourth and the clock told him it was just shy of five in the afternoon. A half-eaten Dominos pizza lay in its box next to him on the couch and he could already feel the grease seeming to ooze out of his pores. A part of him knew the regret would be waiting for him the following morning but that didn’t stop him from filling up the glass with gin before he lightly topped it off with sprite. He watched the fan spin in his vision despite the fact it wasn’t turned on and he could feel the swirling despite he was motionless. A few minutes passed as he quickly began to work on his latest drink, the sting of alcohol long past his recognition, and he stood up when it was halfway finished. The pounding percussion of the heavy metal seemed to guide the pattern of his steps as he stumbled down the hallway to the garage. Drums. Screaming. Guitar. He opened the door to the garage and fumbled for the light switch. When his finger flicked against the cheap plastic, the large room illuminated to show the long untouched remnants of his home gym. The heavy bag was covered in a slight coating of dust and he finished his drink before he threw the glass at the garage door. It shattered and lifted a cough of dust from the long untouched steel. Drums. Screaming. Guitar. He breathed heavier and heavier as he stumbled over to the bag. Jongin smiling. Sweat on his skin. Teeth on his neck. A dick inside him. He reared back his hand and punched at the bag but missed and stumbled into the bag, coating his cheek and shirt with dust. As he tried to regain his footing the bag swayed back at him and collided into his chest. A weak grunt slipped through his lips as he stumbled back and slammed onto the ground. Drums. Screaming. Guitar. Sweat. Teeth.

_Kyungsoo?!_

He sat up while the bag swayed at him tauntingly.

_What the fuck is this!?_

_Jane…it’s not…_

_Not what it looks like? What the fuck is it then, Soo?!_

He got up and kicked at the bag, all sense of control lost. Drums. Screaming. Guitar. Sweat. Teeth. Ray. Jane. He screamed as he wrapped his arms around the bag and tugged angrily at it, his knees slamming into it. The bolt holding the heavy bag in began to creak as he pulled on it with as much as he could.

“Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!” Kyungsoo screamed as he pulled. Drums. “I fucking hate you!” Tears welled in his eyes as he pulled again. Another creak from the bolt, this one louder. The screaming turned into bawling as the hot tears fell down his dust covered cheeks. Jane holding Jungsoo when he won. Jungsoo looking at him. Jungsoo seeing him. The tears. Kyungsoo wept and pulled again. Finally the bolt gave way and there was a crash as the chain fell and struck Kyungsoo on the top of his head. But he didn’t feel it. With a fury that had been caged inside him he threw the bag to the ground, mounted it, and began to throw vicious elbows into it. The padding dented with each strike and the dust was blotched by dripping tears. The warmth in his head wasn’t noticed until a second series of droplets joined the tears. These scarlet crimson. But he didn’t stop. He struck the bag over and over. Never relenting. He slept with Jongin. While Jongin’s daughter was at school. What was he thinking? “Fucking idiot!” he screamed as he continued to hit the bag. Again. Again. Again.

_You’re never seeing Jungsoo again!_

_Fuck you, cunt!_

_Fuck you!_

Another elbow to the bag. The song ended. The drums. The screaming. The guitar. Gone. Silence. It was all gone. The anger. The fury. The wrath. All that was left was misery. Tears and blood. He held up his hands, now coated with streaks of his own blood. The tears fell down his face as he let his hands rake through the short locks of his hair. He could feel the sticky warmth connect with the formerly, now soft, skin of his knuckles. Blood and tears. His breath was caught in his throat as he gasped for air. The tears kept coming. Unable to hold himself on the bag any longer, he leaned on his hands and the fresh blood left streaks where his hands slid on the old leather. It finally became too much. He fell off the bag. It was too hard to get up. He let his eyes close. He didn’t dream.

The ache in his head came pounding the moment he awoke. He winced and groaned as he opened his eyes to be greeted by the unforgiving vibrant glow of florescent lights as well as a dull pain in the back of his head. It took him a few moments to realize he was in the garage. As he sat up he felt his hair pull as if stuck to the floor and it wasn’t until he was fully sat up that he saw the stain of dried blood, now proudly displaying several of his black locks of hair.

“Oh…fuck…” he whimpered as he reached up and felt where the bolt and chain had struck him. There was a definite gash. It wouldn’t require stitches but it was going to take some time to heal completely. “Great…” With a pained grunt he used the fallen heavy bag to help himself to his feet. Everything hurt. He then remembered and looked to the garage door and saw the shattered glass. Kyungsoo shifted his gaze to the window. It was still dark outside but the first glimpses of sunlight were emerging. With a saddened slump to his shoulders, Kyungsoo walked to the door of the garage, turned off the light, and closed the door behind him. The chill of the air conditioning greeted him as he shuffled to the bathroom, turned on the shower, stripped, and stepped into the hot water. He saw the brownish red tint cloud the first wash of water as well as felt the sting as the water cleaned out the still relatively fresh wound. It hurt. He winced. He ignored it. He accepted it. He wanted it. He deserved it. The water washed over his body but it didn’t make him feel any more clean. The flakes of dried tears were washed away but he could still feel them. Around his eyes. On his cheeks. On his chest. He scrubbed his hands and tried to get all of the dried blood and sweat off of them. It rinsed away but he could still see it. His hands streaked with his sins. He wanted to cry more. He didn’t. He couldn’t. So he closed his eyes and turned the water to as hot as it could. It stung his skin. It scalded him. It almost burned him. He lowered the heat. It didn’t help. “Fuck,” he muttered before he grabbed the shampoo and began to lather his hair. The soap didn’t help either. Nor the scrub brush. When he walked out of the shower, he was still filthy. Once in his bedroom he grabbed a bandanna from his dresser and wrapped it over the wound. Wihtout a shred of clothing on the rest of his body, Kyungsoo fell onto the bed and let sleep take him once more.


	13. Chapter 12

When Kyungsoo woke up he noticed that he had a message from Jongin. He didn’t read it and instead left his phone to charge in the kitchen while he grabbed some hot soapy water to clean up the mess he’d left in the garage. He slipped into some sweatpants and a loose tank top, choosing not to wear any boxers, and slipped into his flip flops. His still was still aching but he popped a handful of ibuprofen and drank a few glasses of water before he began the work of scrubbing his dried blood off the dusty cement floor. It took longer than he would have liked but it became easier as the painkillers kicked in and the pain dissipated. Once he was done scrubbing and drying the spot he looked to the bag. It had been long unused and wouldn’t be doing him much good with the bolt having been torn right out of the woodwork.

“Fucking idiot,” he muttered to himself as he knelt down and picked up the chain to inspect the bolt. It seemed fine so he checked the ceiling and saw that he’d have to patch it up before he could rehang the bag in that spot. At least it would give him something to do. He gave the bag a wipe down to remove any dried blood that remained on it and went to the kitchen to clean up. It wasn’t until he tossed the sponge into the microwave to kill any bacteria that he checked his phone and saw he’d received several messages. One was from Jane telling him to send the child support on time. He deleted it. Another was spam. The last one was a new message from Jongin. With a sigh and a moment of thought he opened the message and checked both of them. He read the message from last night first.

_What are you doing tonight? Want to get dinner with Mina and me?_

Kyungsoo sighed as he deleted the message, wanting to forget. He checked the new one.

_Are you alright?_

The text had been sent little over an hour ago. He checked the time and saw that it was almost ten in the morning. Another sigh and he tossed his phone back onto the counter before he headed into the living room and sat down in his usual spot, the gin bottle and liter of sprite still sitting on the coffee table along with his forgotten laptop for writing. He picked up the gin and sprite to put them away before he picked up his laptop and put it back on his desk in his bedroom. He knew he wouldn’t be getting any writing done for a while. Once that was done he sat on the couch and let his head fall back against the tender cushions. Some more sleep didn’t seem like such a bad idea to Kyungsoo but any thoughts of it were shaken from him when he heard a knock at the front door. It was quiet and almost meek. He groaned as he brought his hands to rub his face in frustration. All he wanted was to be left alone. He remained where he was, hopeful that the visitor would leave. About ten seconds passed before there was another series of gentle knocks. With a heavy exhale Kyungsoo got up, removed the bandanna from his head, tossed the bandanna into his bedroom, and headed to the door. When he opened it he saw Jongin seemingly just about ready to knock again.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked, his voice deep in the morning but also laced with irritation. Jongin’s eyes quirked in intrigue.

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“So?”

“I was afraid something happened.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.” A few moments of silence while they looked at each other. Jongin seemed as hurriedly dressed as Kyungsoo since Jongin was wearing wrinkled yellow button up and some black athletic shorts and flip flops. Jongin let out a soft sigh. “I was afraid what happened made things weird.”

“A little bit,” Kyungsoo admitted.

“I’m sorry.” It was a punch in the gut. “I mean…I don’t know what…came over me.” Kyungsoo felt the emotions roiling inside his stomach. The fury. The sadness. The hatred. The need. The fire.

“How’s Mina?” Kyungsoo asked, trying to divert the conversation.

“She’s good…just dropped her off at school. How’s Jungsoo?”

“I don’t know. I don’t see him until the end of the week. Jane doesn’t let me talk to him during those times.”

“That’s rough, man.” Kyungsoo nodded. “If you ever want to grab lunch or something I’m free.”

“Don’t…” Kyungsoo started but then paused for a moment, unsure of how to approach this. “Don’t you work?”

“I work from home,” Jongin said with a little snap to his tone, the attempts to be kind gone with Kyungsoo’s own inconsiderate attitude making itself known. Kyungsoo’s face softened.

“I’m sorry. Last night was just…it was a long night…” Another pause in the conversation. Kyungsoo opened up the door and stepped to the side. “Do you want something to eat? I haven’t had anything yet and you already cooked once.” He couldn’t find it in him to look Jongin in the eye while asking this and instead focused on the doorknob. The few seconds of silence made him believe that Jongin couldn’t believe the gall Kyungsoo was exhibiting but he was broken out of his presumption once Jongin spoke.

“Sure. That sounds nice.” He looked up to see Jongin’s eyes had never left him. He sighed and let go of the door to let Jongin in. Once inside, they moved to the kitchen where Kyungsoo tried to scrounge together something edible but quickly realized he had very little to offer.

“I don’t cook much when Jungsoo isn’t here…” Kyungsoo admitted as he went through his pantry without finding anything of worth. Jongin leaned against the kitchen counter while Kyungsoo distracted himself with trying to find something. He went to the freezer and found a half empty box of frozen veggie burgers. Kyungsoo exhaled and held out the box. “You like these?” This earned a small smile from Jongin.

“Sure,” he said through his grinning lips. This calmed Kyungsoo. He popped them both into the microwave and sat down at the table to put his head in his hands. Jongin walked over and ran a hand along his back. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know…” Kyungsoo admitted finally as he leaned back in the chair to look at Jongin. “I miss Jungsoo,” he finally admitted. “I miss him a lot.” He felt the tender lips of Jongin press against the top of his head and kiss. He felt the warmth. Jongin gave another few kisses before he ceased.

“What happened to your head?”

“I banged it last night.”

“A pretty good bang it looks like.”

“It’ll be fine. Just needs some time to heal.” He finally looked up at Jongin. He could see it in Jongin’s eyes. He knew it was in his eyes too. He wanted to hate it. Wanted to hate him. He couldn’t. When Jongin leaned down to kiss him he accepted it willingly. The groan that escaped him was deep and needy. While initially slow it quickly gathered pace and intensity before soon their tongues were fighting and their hands clinging to the other with an unquestioning desperation. The ding of the microwave signaling the finish of the long forgotten veggie burgers was equally ignored as Jongin tugged on Kyungsoo’s tank top to force him to his feet before he pushed Kyungsoo onto the table. With an enticing ease, Jongin slid down Kyungsoo’s sweatpants and seemed to enjoy Kyungsoo’s choice to go commando. He took Kyungsoo in his mouth and Kyungsoo panted heavily as he threaded his fingers through Jongin’s hair. The intensity between the two soon saw Kyungsoo stripped nude, his clothes discarded on the floor, while Jongin worked three fingers roughly into him with spit as the only lubricant. It hurt but Kyungsoo needed it. His hands gripped the edge of the table as he felt Jongin’s fingers brush against his prostate. Just as soon as Jongin had managed to get three fingers inside, they were gone. Kyungsoo whimpered as he felt empty but heard Jongin tug down his own shorts and aim his still hardening cock at Kyungsoo’s entrance. Kyungsoo gasped as Jongin massaged the tender rim with his stiffening shaft before he spit and used it to press inside. The sensation of Jongin entering while still growing made Kyungsoo’s legs and arms give out and he was splayed on the kitchen table. He felt an arm slide around his torso and pull him close while Jongin climbed onto the table to mount him more thoroughly. He felt a sudden hesitation in Jongin’s movements, as if he realized what was happening. Kyungsoo reached back to grab Jongin by the hair and brought their mouths back together. Any doubting thoughts seemed to immediately leave Jongin’s mind as he quickly began to thrust. The sensation was what Kyungsoo needed. The fullness. The filth of it. Jongin’s teeth bit into his neck and shoulder to repress the guttural moans that spilled out of his throat. Kyungsoo’s whimpers turned into fully fledged moans as Jongin found the sweet spot. The polished oak of the kitchen table soon was slickened by the sweat dripping down their bodies and Kyungsoo felt the lack of friction against his whole torso. It wasn’t until he heard a wheeze from the wood that he pat Jongin’s leg.

“What…?” Jongin panted as he rested fully sheathed inside Kyungsoo.

“We’re gonna break the table…” They looked at each other, the emotions and hormones flowing hard within them, and smiles broke across their faces. Jongin pulled out and Kyungsoo scrambled off the table. He quickly pushed Jongin to the ground and mounted him. From that moment he controlled the pace with Jongin writhing beneath him, soothing moans of satisfaction oozing out from his lips in an unending trickle of pleasure. Jongin’s legs kicked out helplessly but knocked over the chair Kyungsoo had been sitting in just minutes prior. How long they were like that, Kyungsoo could not know, but he was sure it wasn’t for long. The sensation of Jongin releasing into him while also calling out his name in a choked voice was more than enough to send Kyungsoo over the edge. He spilled his essence across Jongin’s stomach but refused to cease his hips’ ministrations until Jongin tapped him on the leg to alert him of the hypersensitivity. The metronome of their heavy breathing was the only thing which filled the air while they looked at each other. Fresh sweat slicked their skin and matted down Jongin’s former bedhead. With the need gone, Kyungsoo felt the onrush of guilt. His hand tightened on Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin grabbed him and peppered his face with tender kisses. They remained that way for a good while, with Jongin still inside. More guilt but less potent. He made to get off but Jongin flipped them over and began to repeat his gentle thrusts inside Kyungsoo. The guilt was washed away by more need as Jongin’s gentle kisses became ravenous once more. It was slower paced but each thrust had a statement. Each thrust forced Kyungsoo to forget. Forget the guilt. Forget the filth. Just feel. He moaned as he wrapped his legs around Jongin’s waist and felt Jongin’s tip slam into his prostate. The fire was back and Jongin stoked it for almost three hours.

Their passion saw them journey from the kitchen to the living room and finally to Kyungsoo’s own bedroom. When Kyungsoo had his sixth and final orgasm pathetically piddle out onto his own stomach, he was too weak to even move his limbs. Jongin slowly slid out of Kyungsoo, the wetness of Jongin’s numerous releases making the action as simple as could be, and he fell next to Kyungsoo. The bedsheets were soiled with sweat and cum. The stench of sex permeated the air and had left a haze of humidity in the room. They simply lay there, unmoving, for what could only have been a few minutes but the euphoria of the moment made it seem like hours. With great effort, Kyungsoo rolled over and checked the alarm clock. It was almost 2pm.

“What time does Mina get out from school?” Kyungsoo asked once his breathing was caught. Jongin seemed to take a bit longer to regain his composure.

“She has…an afterschool program…till three…” Kyungsoo rolled over to Jongin and curled up to him.

“You have about an hour before she gets out.” Jongin nodded appreciatively and let a hand run through Kyungsoo’s hair, taking care to avoid touching the still healing injury, and kissed Kyungsoo’s swollen lips slowly. They lay there and kiss for almost thirty minutes, simply losing themselves in the other’s presence. Finally, when they did pull away, Jongin looked at the clock before he returned his eyes to Kyungsoo’s.

“I have to get ready…” he whispered while he looked deep into Kyungsoo’s eyes. Kyungsoo nodded. “We’re gonna go to McDonalds. Want to come with?” Kyungsoo looked back at Jongin. Guilt. Filth. Jane. Jungsoo. Ray. Caught. Hatred. Disgust.

“Sure,” he whispered and sat up with a grunt as he felt the ache in his rear.

“Do you have a bath or just a shower?” Jongin asked.

“Just a shower.” Jongin sighed but chuckled as he got up and helped Kyungsoo to his feet. Kyungsoo winced as he tried to regain feeling and movement below the waist.

“Did I do good?” Kyungsoo couldn’t help but laugh as Jongin helped him to the bathroom.


	14. Chapter 13

The sex became frequent, multiple times a day. They only took a break that Thursday for the fact that Jungsoo would be returning the next day and Kyungsoo’s soreness was traversing into genuine pain. While Mina was at school, Kyungsoo instead sucked Jongin off to multiple orgasms before Jongin returned the favor with enthusiasm. That evening, after Mina had come home and had dinner with both her father and Kyungsoo, Jongin brought her to her grandmother’s house to spend the night. Kyungsoo stayed in the car as Jongin gave her a tight hug and kissed her cheek before saying some words to her that he was unable to hear. She smiled at him and ran to the door, where Jongin’s mother was waiting with a hug. Jongin called out a farewell to Mina before he got back into the car and let his head fall back to rest for a few minutes.

“I don’t know if I have the energy to do this,” Jongin admitted, his tone low and almost half asleep.

“If I can do it then you can.” Jongin groaned in protest but Kyungsoo just laughed before he popped a few ibuprofen and drained his water bottle. The drive was quiet but Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel some excitement.

“Just make sure you go easy on me.” Kyungsoo laughed.

“You’re the aggressive one.” They drove up to the gym and grabbed their bags before heading inside. It had been a long time since Kyungsoo had been to his old gym but he was glad that the old receptionist still recognized him. She smiled at him as he paid for Jongin’s entry and asked if the room he liked was available. She said that it was and they headed downstairs to the changing room. He was thankful for the lack of other gym-goers so he grabbed his usual locker at the back and rapped a knuckle against the one next to it to tell Jongin which to use before he shed his t-shirt and grabbed his gym clothes.

“Are you sure if you are…in good enough condition to do this?” Jongin had to ask as he removed his own shirt as well and looked at the hickeys that littered his chest and stomach. Kyungsoo hadn’t let him do the same to his arms.

“I’d know if there was any tearing. I’ll be fine. Sore but fine.”

“You’re something else,” Jongin said with a sigh as Kyungsoo slid out of his pants and put on his black athletic shorts. “Are…are you going shirtless?”

“It’s why I use the private room. They just let me do whatever.”

“But what about all the…uh…” Kyungsoo shut his locker once his bag was inside and turned to face Jongin directly. A part of him liked how Jongin almost flinched.

“Are you always going to act like a high schooler when I take my shirt off?”

“You don’t make it easy for me.”

“I make it plenty easy.” Kyungsoo gave a gentle punch to Jongin’s chest and it knocked Jongin back a step along with the sound of a heavy grunt. Kyungsoo couldn’t help it and burst out laughing as Jongin rubbed his chest.

“Jesus…” he grimaced as he tried to alleviate the impact.

“Come on, I’ll show you how I got such good kicks.” Jongin quickly put on a white tank top and followed after him.

The private room was a large room with hardwood floors and mirrors along three of the four walls. There was a collection of bodyweight equipment but no heavy weights. There were heavy bags for punching lined up along one wall. Kyungsoo paused for a few seconds to take in a deep breath. The mix of old wood, sweat, leather, and cheap floor cleaner brought back a wash of memories. He smiled and cracked his neck. “Let’s get started.” After the warmup of pushups, situps, squats, planks, and kinetic stretches; Kyungsoo had worked up a good sweat and was smiling. He turned to see Jongin had barely kept up and his white tank top was already soaked. Once properly warmed up, Kyungsoo helped Jongin put on a pair of spare fingerless grappling gloves before he put on his own. “Alright, show me your fighting stance.” Jongin got into more of a recreation of a fighting stance than an actual fighting stance. His balance was off, his arms were low, his chin was out, and he looked adorable. Kyungsoo choked back a laugh.

“Don’t laugh!” Jongin whined as he tried to fix his stance without even knowing what the problems were.

“It’s fine. We’ll work on it.” Kyungsoo made a few adjustments of his stance and looked it over again. “Better. Have you ever thrown a jab?”

“No…”

“Well at least there’s no bad habits to break then. Show me a jab.” Jongin looked at him sourly and Kyungsoo smiled. “Just indulge me a bit, alright?” A small huff escaped Jongin’s lips before he threw a punch. It was awkward and he was sure he saw Jongin’s wrist bend a bit from the impact. It sounded weak. Jongin whined. “Come on. You know I’ve never done this before.”

“You said you wanted to do it. First thing you gotta shake off is the thought of shame. There are guys out there that would have me in your situation when I was in my prime. There’s always someone better. Humility is a good trait when it comes to this stuff. But, watch me.” Kyungsoo got into a stance and threw a sharp jab. It was only a fraction of his strength and technique when he was fighting professionally but the satisfying snappy impact of his fist on the bag made his blood rush. The bag swayed as it tried to steady itself. “Don’t let your hand just rest on the bag. You need to make sure pull back as quickly as you throw it out. Not only does it help generate power but it will keep your opponent from being able to grab a hold of you.” Jongin listened as Kyungsoo constantly adjusted his stance and his punching technique. Soon he showed him hook punches, uppercuts, and a few kicking techniques before he showed him the 1234 drill. “When I call out ‘one’ you throw a jab. When I call out ‘two’ it’s a jab and right cross combo. ‘Three’ is left jab, right cross, left hook. ‘Four’ is left jab, right cross, left hook, right cross. Got it?”

“When did this turn into a drill session?” Jongin asked, his body sweating profusely.

“Don’t worry. I’ll do it with you after your first round.”

“First round?”

“Five rounds. Three minutes each. One combo every two to three seconds. Live the life, Jongin!” he called out before he turned on his stop clock and put on some Iron Maiden. “One!” The first round was one of the oddest three minutes Kyungsoo could recall in a gym. Jongin, already exhausted, threw the punches as best he could. His technique was off, his stance was falling apart, and his was gasping for air only a minute in but he kept going. “You’re doing really well, Jongin.”

“Fuck…you…” Jongin gasped.

“Four!” Jongin whimpered.

Between rounds was a one minute break and Jongin put down half a water bottle before he slumped his way over to his heavy bag, this time with Kyungsoo behind him at his own punching bag. The second round had awoken Kyungsoo’s energy and he struck clean and true on the bag. After each combination, he could feel as if rust was falling from his joints and freeing up movement that had been gone for a long time. He still ached in the rear towards the end of the round but he ignored it. When the second round was done, he had regained his healthy sweat and put his hands over his head as he caught his breath, his stomach tensing in definition from the effort. Jongin made to fall to the ground. “Nope! Come on, you can do it! One more round and you can take a break.” Jongin coughed and wiped his face with the neck of his tank top before he tried to slow down his breathing. “Put your hands over your head, it helps with the flow of oxygen.” Jongin did as he was told and seemed to recover just in time for the third round. He barely remembered the majority of the third round, only the sight of Jongin faltering forcing him to yell out words of encouragement. When the third round ended, Jongin stumbled away from the bag and collapsed to the ground, heaving for air with his arms and legs splayed out helplessly. Kyungsoo took deep breaths as well before he got down and began to do pushups so his head was right over Jongin’s.

“Asshole…” Kyungsoo just smiled before he got up and shook out his feet before getting back into his stance for the fourth round. His body moved freely now and his mind was unshackled by the need to make sure Jongin was keeping up. When he had a spare second or two between combos he would step back and snap a forward roundhouse kick to the bag with a satisfying snap. The muscles ached and his lungs burned for air but he kept going. His legs were heavy but his feet were light. When the fourth round was up he didn’t move from his spot, only focused and controlled his breathing while bouncing on the balls of his feet to keep the body moving. His boxers were soaked with sweat. He didn’t care. Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Close eyes. In. Out. In. Out. Ding. Fifth round. Eyes open. FOUR!

When he finished the eighth round he let his hands drop and fell out of the trance. His breathing was almost broken to gasps but he barely retained control. He was soaked all over as he put his hands on the top of his head and deep breaths. He looked over to see Jongin was sitting against the wall, his own clothes soaked as well.

“You aren’t human.” Kyungsoo smiled and let out a tired laugh.

“I used to do fifteen rounds several times a week.”

“You look really fucking hot right now,” Jongin admitted and Kyungsoo smirked before he returned his focus to regaining control of his breathing. Once he managed to do so in about a minute, he walked over to Jongin and knelt down in front of him.

“You did really well.”

“Thanks.”

“Wanna do this every week?” Kyungsoo asked. Jongin moaned.

“I don’t know…” The slightest bit of disappointment on Kyungsoo’s face wasn’t missed by Jongin. He quickly gave in. “Fine.” Kyungsoo’s face lit up. “But I get kisses after.” Kyungsoo leaned forward and let their lips mingle together. They could taste the residual sweat and could smell each other’s intense musk. The kiss lingered for the better part of minute until Kyungsoo finally pulled away.

“Come on. We got more to do.”

“You mean that wasn’t it?” Jongin quickly whined.

“That was only the first half hour. We got our strength training to do.” He looked at Jongin’s broken face and couldn’t help but wither a little at the cute sight. “But you can watch if you want. It’s a lot for the first day.”

“I love you…” Jongin sighed as he immediately flopped back down to his prior sitting position to watch Kyungsoo do squats, high jumps, panther walks (basically getting down into a pushup position with your chest a few inches above the ground and hopping to the other side of the room with only your hands and feet), and a whole slew of other exercises that brought Kyungsoo to the breaking point numerous times but he only seemed to relish the exhaustion and the burn. By the time he was done forty-five minutes later Jongin had mostly recovered but was just watching him in awe. Kyungsoo stretched for his cool down and finally grabbed his towel.

“Alright. I think we’re done for now.” They returned ot the locker room and headed into the showers to clean themselves off. Once done, they got dressed into some fresh clothes and headed to the car. Before Kyungsoo could turn the car on, he felt the front of his sweatpants get yanked down and Jongin’s mouth was on him within seconds.  


	15. Chapter 14

Kyungsoo waited anxiously as he looked at the clock. They were twenty minutes late to drop off Jungsoo and if he hadn’t vented so much of his emotions in the workout with Jongin the night before he knew he’d be near hysterical. Almost thirty minutes after ten in the morning, he finally saw the truck and Jungsoo’s large eyes looking at his house from behind his thick lenses. He immediately got up and opened the front door to see Jungsoo hop out of the truck without waiting for his mother to open the door for him and heaved his backpack onto his shoulder. With a slight tinge of satisfaction, Kyungsoo watched his son rush up the walkway and wrap his arms around his waist.

“Daddy!” Jungsoo exclaimed and Kyungsoo ran a hand through his son’s thick black hair.

“Hey there, buddy. How’re you doing?”

“Good,” he said, his voice muffled from burying his face in Kyungsoo’s stomach. Kyungsoo looked up to see Jane glaring at him from the truck. Derek hadn’t even bothered to get out of the driver’s seat.

“How about you go inside and get yourself comfortable. I just need to talk to your mom for a bit, alright?”

“Ok,” Jungsoo said happily before he jogged inside and towards his room.

“Don’t run inside,” Kyungsoo called out after him before closing the door and looking to Jane. Her face was colder than a February morning. He walked out to the edge of his property and stood there, motionless. She refused to move for a few moments before finally walking to him and standing just at the edge of the property.

“He’s the only reason why I haven’t called the lawyers for full custody.” Kyungsoo just looked at her with equal dislike, his stone-faced expression telling all he could ever want to say. “I’ll pick him up in a week.” She turned to go. He couldn’t help himself.

“The reason you don’t call the lawyers is you know you’ll lose.” She opened the door to the truck.

“They’ll never give him to a cheating fag.” The sound of the door slamming shut managed to cover up the gasp as Kyungsoo felt the wind leave his lungs. His body was burning with rage as he watched her leave. He wanted to hit something. He needed to hit something. There was nothing to hit. So he pushed it down and planned to workout later that day. He made his way inside and looked briefly over to Jongin’s house but Jongin’s car was nowhere in sight. He exhaled and walked inside to see Jungsoo had shed himself of his backpack and was sneaking a look through the fridge for pudding. Jungsoo didn’t seem to notice his father so Kyungsoo walked quietly behind him and pressed his thumbs gently into Jungsoo’s sides. Jungsoo howled in shock and legs gave out but Kyungsoo laughed and caught him before he fell to the ground.

“What are you up to?”

“N-nothing!” Jungsoo said as he tried to recover from the surprise. Kyungsoo picked Jungsoo up and carried him over his shoulder to the living room and flopped him down onto the couch.

“Did you finish your homework?”

“Yes.” Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow and saw his son squirm under the look. “Most of it…”

“If you finish it now you don’t have to think about it the rest of the weekend and we can have fun.” Jungsoo still seemed a little hesitant and Kyungsoo let off a quiet sigh. “Finish your homework and we’ll go out to eat tonight.” Jungsoo’s face lit up. It was rare for them to go out to eat but it almost always meant going to the McDonalds that still had a Play Place. Kyungsoo kissed his son on the forehead and gave him an encouraging swat on the rump towards his room to finish his homework. As Jungsoo pulled out his books and folders, Kyungsoo grabbed his phone and sent Jongin a quick text.

_Taking Jungsoo to McDonalds for dinner. Want to bring Mina?_

With that he put down his phone and pulled a chair up next to Jungsoo and they finished his homework together.

Jongin had agreed to getting dinner as a group and when they met at Jongin’s house, Jungsoo was oddly shy as he held his dad’s hand and looked at Mina from behind his thick lenses. It took Kyungsoo a moment to remember that Jungsoo hadn’t really played with or knew how to socialize with girls. The neighborhood boys were his usual playmates and apparently he didn’t have any kids to play with at his mom’s. Jungsoo was wearing his “big boy jacket” which was a small leather jacket Kyungsoo had bought him for last Christmas and he wore it whenever possible. Mina was wearing a cute robin blue dress with her hair done back in a ponytail. She was holding Jongin’s hand but seemed significantly less intimidated than Jungsoo. It made Kyungsoo smile.

“You remember Mina, right Jungsoo?” He felt Jungsoo’s grip tighten in his hand. Mina stepped forward, letting go of her dad’s hand and gave a bow.

“Hello,” she said in a rehearsed tone that only a child of her years could manage. Jongin beamed. With some hesitation, Jungsoo slowly stepped out and gave his own deep bow.

“H-hello.” Kyungsoo looked at Jongin and they exchanged small smiles. Kyungsoo ended up driving with Jungsoo and Mina sitting in the back. Mina, despite being almost three years younger than Jungsoo, hounded him with questions which he awkwardly answered as best he could. When they reached McDonalds, Jungsoo seemed like he couldn’t wait to get out. Once inside, they ordered their food and Jungsoo ran off the to the play place with Mina close behind him.

“He’s adorable,” Jongin said as they went to the soda machine and began to fill their drinks. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel proud as he watched Jungsoo jump into the ball pit and scramble towards the ladder.

“Be careful with your glasses!” Kyungsoo called out to Jungsoo and Jungsoo quickly scaled the ladder and into one of the tubes, likely to hide the embarrassed blush on his face. Mina got in with a bit more restraint but laughed as she played in the ball pit. A few boys were climbing through the tubes and Jungsoo quickly joined them. Once the drinks were filled they walked to a table and sat down while waiting for the food.

“Are you alright?” Jongin asked. Kyungsoo looked over at him. Handsome as usual. He didn’t hate himself as much for admiring it.

“Just stuff with Jane is really tense.”

“Want to talk about it?” Kyungsoo thought about it for a few long seconds before he finally sighed.

“Not really. She just wants full custody.” Jongin nodded and rubbed Kyungsoo’s back. He flinched but didn’t pull away. “Anyways…” he said, wanting to change the subject. “I was thinking about signing him up for Taekwondo.”

“Does he have an interest?”

“He likes Kung Fu Panda and used to try out all the moves. It would be good for him to know self-defense regardless. Does Mina do any sports or anything?”

“I’ve taught her some dancing and some ballet but she hasn’t really done anything with other kids. She’s starving for some more socialization with kids her own age.”

“I know a good teacher for taekwondo. He’s only fifteen minutes away and does classes for ages five and up. She almost five?” Jongin nodded and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile.

“Next month,” Jongin said.

“We could sign them up together. He’d be in the age group ahead of her but they could help each other out.”

By the time Kyungsoo was laying his head on his pillow that evening, Jungsoo and Mina were signed up to start Taekwondo classes. It wasn’t until Jungsoo was snoring that Kyungsoo pulled out his phone and began texting Jongin.

_I miss you._

The bluntness of the statement was something Kyungsoo wasn’t accustomed to doing and it even took himself by surprise.

_Awww. I miss you too._

_Are we still working out tomorrow morning after the kids are dropped off?_

_Yes_

Kyungsoo felt his stomach coil with heat. He smiled.


End file.
